I wish I woke up looking like this
But instead I wake up looking like this
Thanks genetics.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Remembering Tattoo Lizard guy...
I was recently looking back fondly on some memories I had of when I worked at the hospital and I remembered one patient in particular who I really liked. He was this older man, biker type, tattoos. I had expressed to him my desire to join the Hell's Angels and he gave me that look that said "well it's good you have dreams kid".
Then when I went into more specifics he laughed (with not at me right?!) and told me they'd be happy to have me. They? Was he including himself in this secret group of Bad-A motorcyclists? I was basking in the glow that I may have in fact just met an actual member of the Hell's Angels and was considering asking him flat out when I noticed something. I was drawing his blood and he had this huge tattoo on his arm. This is the conversation that ensued.
Me: "Woah...that's a cool tattoo!"
Possible Hell's Angel: "Thanks...yeah I like it"
Me: "It looks like....a lizard?" (I was totally convinced I got it right)
Definite Hell's Angel (I had made a concrete decision about it at this point): "No...it's a portrait of my girlfriend...maybe that's why she punched me after I showed her?"
The nurse who was in the room with me erupted in laughter as I struggled to find the words to say. I miss you Lizard tattoo Hell's Angel.
To read more of my crazy adventures working at the hospital....
like how I captured an invisible monkey {here}
or when I had my first experience taking a body to the morgue {here}
You're Welcome
Then when I went into more specifics he laughed (with not at me right?!) and told me they'd be happy to have me. They? Was he including himself in this secret group of Bad-A motorcyclists? I was basking in the glow that I may have in fact just met an actual member of the Hell's Angels and was considering asking him flat out when I noticed something. I was drawing his blood and he had this huge tattoo on his arm. This is the conversation that ensued.
Me: "Woah...that's a cool tattoo!"
Possible Hell's Angel: "Thanks...yeah I like it"
Me: "It looks like....a lizard?" (I was totally convinced I got it right)
Definite Hell's Angel (I had made a concrete decision about it at this point): "No...it's a portrait of my girlfriend...maybe that's why she punched me after I showed her?"
The nurse who was in the room with me erupted in laughter as I struggled to find the words to say. I miss you Lizard tattoo Hell's Angel.
To read more of my crazy adventures working at the hospital....
like how I captured an invisible monkey {here}
or when I had my first experience taking a body to the morgue {here}
You're Welcome
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Called to Serve
So it happened. I was finally made official in my ward. I was offered a calling. Want to know what it was? I'll give you a hint:
Yes it has to do with relief society (for my non Mormon friends- Relief Society is the organization for the women in the church. During the first hour of our meetings the women all meet together and have a lesson/discussion, then we attend Sunday School, and finally in the third hour we have Sacrament meeting. You can read more about it {here})
Still wondering? I was called as a teacher in the Relief Society. And even after 2 days of letting it marinate I am totally overwhelmed. I feel so small and unprepared. I feel like a child trying to fit in with the grown up women. These are women who taught me when I was in Primary and Young Womens. Women who are married, have children, my friend's mothers, women who have served in the church for many years, women who know more than me. I am very intimidated. What qualifies me in any way to teach them anything? I'm only 23. I still watch Hannah Montana. What is the Relief Society president thinking?
After doing a lot of thinking and scripture study I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. The Lord has a plan for me. The Lord called me. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding and in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths"
I also was reading on the church website about callings in the Relief Society. A lot of what I learned was not to get caught up in it. In the end it is the Spirit teaching the lesson anyway.
I found this great talk by Henry B. Eyring about "Rising to your Calling" He says:
"You are called to represent the Savior. Your voice to testify becomes the same as His voice, your hands to lift the same as His hands...your calling is to bless lives. That will be true even in the most ordinary tasks you are assigned an in moments when you might be doing something not apparently connected to your call. Just the way you smile or the way you offer to help someone can build their faith."
It's a great talk. You can read the whole thing {here}
I hope I can fulfill this calling in the way the the Lord would want me to. That I can teach with the Spirit. That I can bring something to the table that others can appreciate. Nervous yes. But excited none the less. Last night while reading the scriptures I came across Ephesians 3:17-19 "That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with the fulness of God".
Isn't it great how the Lord can direct you to exactly what you need to hear?
As a side note I'd like to share with you a conversation I had with Beth about my calling where she relieved my fears and then re-instated them:
V: I got called as a relief society teacher today
B: I saw on FB! I was that in college and I loved it, but everyone was young so it wasn't as intimidating. You excited?
V: Yes but really nervous....
B: You will do amazing! You are so witty that you will add some much needed humor! I'm sad I'm not in your class
V: Thanks for your vote of confidence- it's intimidating to be teaching your former teachers
B: ha ha yeah I can't even imagine
You should be a motivational speaker Beth.
Yes it has to do with relief society (for my non Mormon friends- Relief Society is the organization for the women in the church. During the first hour of our meetings the women all meet together and have a lesson/discussion, then we attend Sunday School, and finally in the third hour we have Sacrament meeting. You can read more about it {here})
Still wondering? I was called as a teacher in the Relief Society. And even after 2 days of letting it marinate I am totally overwhelmed. I feel so small and unprepared. I feel like a child trying to fit in with the grown up women. These are women who taught me when I was in Primary and Young Womens. Women who are married, have children, my friend's mothers, women who have served in the church for many years, women who know more than me. I am very intimidated. What qualifies me in any way to teach them anything? I'm only 23. I still watch Hannah Montana. What is the Relief Society president thinking?
After doing a lot of thinking and scripture study I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. The Lord has a plan for me. The Lord called me. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding and in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths"
I also was reading on the church website about callings in the Relief Society. A lot of what I learned was not to get caught up in it. In the end it is the Spirit teaching the lesson anyway.
I found this great talk by Henry B. Eyring about "Rising to your Calling" He says:
"You are called to represent the Savior. Your voice to testify becomes the same as His voice, your hands to lift the same as His hands...your calling is to bless lives. That will be true even in the most ordinary tasks you are assigned an in moments when you might be doing something not apparently connected to your call. Just the way you smile or the way you offer to help someone can build their faith."
It's a great talk. You can read the whole thing {here}
I hope I can fulfill this calling in the way the the Lord would want me to. That I can teach with the Spirit. That I can bring something to the table that others can appreciate. Nervous yes. But excited none the less. Last night while reading the scriptures I came across Ephesians 3:17-19 "That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with the fulness of God".
Isn't it great how the Lord can direct you to exactly what you need to hear?
As a side note I'd like to share with you a conversation I had with Beth about my calling where she relieved my fears and then re-instated them:
V: I got called as a relief society teacher today
B: I saw on FB! I was that in college and I loved it, but everyone was young so it wasn't as intimidating. You excited?
V: Yes but really nervous....
B: You will do amazing! You are so witty that you will add some much needed humor! I'm sad I'm not in your class
V: Thanks for your vote of confidence- it's intimidating to be teaching your former teachers
B: ha ha yeah I can't even imagine
You should be a motivational speaker Beth.
Friday (Tuesday) Spotlight- Beth Gylling
So...Friday Spotlight is late. I know you've all been waiting on the edge of your seats for it so here it finally is. Today's spotlight is my best friend for life. She knows me better than most people do. She is smart, funny, and beautiful. She doesn't like a lot of cheese on her burgers (if at all), knows all the words to almost any Hall & Oates song ever written, and she's allergic to pretty much everything (except for Coldstone ice cream). She is Beth. Beth and I have been on many crazy adventures like Spring Break in high school when we went to Michigan and stole a Caution: Wet sign. I mean....we are hilarious right?
and she's been there for me through really hard things I've gone through. I know that even if it's been 5 months since we've talked to each other on the phone (which it has by the way) that I could always go to her for anything.
She's awesome. So....without further ado I present you with...Beth.
Three Greatest Acheivements:
1. Being a mum (*this is Vanessa speaking...I should warn you- Beth is British. So she says things like "Mum" hopefully you know this means Mom. I'll interpret as needed throughout the rest) - yes I know this is cliche but it truly is the best thing I have ever done!
2. Being a stay at home mum- very different from the above answer...I really wanted to stay home with Brooklyn if I were able to because I know how important it is and I know how much I loved having my mum home with me, but it was a hard decision and it is a hard decision. Sometimes I want to be doing something more with my life but I know the best thing right now is be with Brooklyn
*If I could interject for a moment staying at home with her daughter is so totally the right thing to do...I mean who wouldn't want to stay home with this gorgeous girl?
3. Proving to myself that I can work my way up in the business world- I did well in the banking world and I know I would have continued to do well had I stayed on. Sometimes it is hard to look at ourselves and say that yes I am smart and yes I am a quick learned and my old job gave me that.
Three names you go by:
1. Beth
2. Bethaney Bunny Rabbit- embarrassing to admit yes, but my Nan used to call me that growing up
3. Mum- ha ha weird I know
*Interjecting again- I call Beth "Bethie" which I think she likes a lot
Three things that scare you:
1. Needles
2. Growing old
3. Meeting new people- I have become very shy *which can I (Vanessa) just say is very hard to believe when I think of how Beth flirted with a guy (a guy who had a girlfriend none the less) to get him to give her his store discount at Frye's Electronics once. A task that I have always admired. I bow to you Beth.
Three things that make you happy:
1. My family
2. the beach
3. Football (these aren't the things that make me the happiest....just three things I thought of that make me happy)
Three things you hate:
1. Anxiety
2. How quickly time goes by
3. The way that I went from being super outgoing to being shy- drives me crazy
Three things that you are wearing right now:
1. Socks
2. PJ's
3. Glasses
Three things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. Ambition
2. Athleticism
3. When they treat their family well
Three careers you've considered:
1. Teacher
2. Physical Therapist
3. Banker
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Go bungee jumping
2. Get my degree
3. Learn to snowboard
Describe yourself in one word:
Wanting (Strange choice I know but right now I find myself thinking of all I want to do and accomplish in my life)
and she's been there for me through really hard things I've gone through. I know that even if it's been 5 months since we've talked to each other on the phone (which it has by the way) that I could always go to her for anything.
She's awesome. So....without further ado I present you with...Beth.
Three Greatest Acheivements:
1. Being a mum (*this is Vanessa speaking...I should warn you- Beth is British. So she says things like "Mum" hopefully you know this means Mom. I'll interpret as needed throughout the rest) - yes I know this is cliche but it truly is the best thing I have ever done!
2. Being a stay at home mum- very different from the above answer...I really wanted to stay home with Brooklyn if I were able to because I know how important it is and I know how much I loved having my mum home with me, but it was a hard decision and it is a hard decision. Sometimes I want to be doing something more with my life but I know the best thing right now is be with Brooklyn
*If I could interject for a moment staying at home with her daughter is so totally the right thing to do...I mean who wouldn't want to stay home with this gorgeous girl?
3. Proving to myself that I can work my way up in the business world- I did well in the banking world and I know I would have continued to do well had I stayed on. Sometimes it is hard to look at ourselves and say that yes I am smart and yes I am a quick learned and my old job gave me that.
Three names you go by:
1. Beth
2. Bethaney Bunny Rabbit- embarrassing to admit yes, but my Nan used to call me that growing up
3. Mum- ha ha weird I know
*Interjecting again- I call Beth "Bethie" which I think she likes a lot
Three things that scare you:
1. Needles
2. Growing old
3. Meeting new people- I have become very shy *which can I (Vanessa) just say is very hard to believe when I think of how Beth flirted with a guy (a guy who had a girlfriend none the less) to get him to give her his store discount at Frye's Electronics once. A task that I have always admired. I bow to you Beth.
Three things that make you happy:
1. My family
2. the beach
3. Football (these aren't the things that make me the happiest....just three things I thought of that make me happy)
Three things you hate:
1. Anxiety
2. How quickly time goes by
3. The way that I went from being super outgoing to being shy- drives me crazy
Three things that you are wearing right now:
1. Socks
2. PJ's
3. Glasses
Three things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. Ambition
2. Athleticism
3. When they treat their family well
Three careers you've considered:
1. Teacher
2. Physical Therapist
3. Banker
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Go bungee jumping
2. Get my degree
3. Learn to snowboard
Describe yourself in one word:
Wanting (Strange choice I know but right now I find myself thinking of all I want to do and accomplish in my life)
gleeky quote of the day
"My father always said you become a man when you buy your first house. I'm not sure what he meant by that since he burned ours down once after a drunken fight with my mom."
-Will Schuester
I would like to apologize ahead of time for the Spanish subtitles in this video- but I didn't want to be prejudice against my readers who hable espanol (I'm very international and culturally aware like that)
-Will Schuester
I would like to apologize ahead of time for the Spanish subtitles in this video- but I didn't want to be prejudice against my readers who hable espanol (I'm very international and culturally aware like that)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
life lessons part deux
I just want it put on the record that being 23 is totally f'd. The battle between girl and woman is Ridley Scott level intense. Also I still get zits...what is up with that? I'm not pre-pubescent anymore no matter what my poster of Justin Timberlake might lead you to believe.
I feel like life is just one big sarcastic opportunity. I mean it's great but some things are just so hilarious. I don't know how people can go through life so serious. Some things I've learned as of late:
.
You're welcome.
I feel like life is just one big sarcastic opportunity. I mean it's great but some things are just so hilarious. I don't know how people can go through life so serious. Some things I've learned as of late:
- I was at the dollar store. In normal places the display next to the check out includes: batteries, chapstick, gum, chick-o-stick, those adorable mini lint rollers. At the dollar store? Pregnancy tests. I'm not sure what this exactly says about society.
- Girls in Provo and I don't mix. They are loud and attention seeking, their hair is Jersey-licious worthy, and they sometimes wear so much make up they look like baby prostitutes. I feel bad for them. Except when they are screaming in the movie theater to their friends in the first row from the 12th and also kicking my seat. Then I will cut you.
- Park City is pretty much my favorite place on earth.
- You know those ads they put on the side of Facebook that are supposed to be based on the interests you list in your profile? This is one I had the other day. And yes. I'm interested.
- Bad Gal lash from Sephora will always be my very favorite mascara. (Thank you to my sister who brought me some back from her recent trip to Seattle)
- I love my little brother. Not really a new lesson I've learned but he does something every day that reminds me. Last night when I was watching him he kept bothering the cats. I told him that if he did it again he would go to his room. He did it again (shocker) and I said in my best "I'm about to discipline you with love when all I want to do is rip your hands off so you stop" voice: "Are you going to your room now?" to which he replied in his best "I know you're trying to discipline me but I'm not only smarter than you but I'm also the most sarcastic 6 year old on the planet" voice: "Um....no I'm going to Jupiter"
- No matter how many times I say I'm going to stop drinking Diet Coke it's never going to happen. I mean what am I supposed to drink? Water?!
.
You're welcome.
a move review...in 2 sentences
my dad being the the father of 3 girls has learned a thing or two about what makes them happy. namely (in no particular order) chocolate, diet coke, edward cullen. So he made sure that when "New Moon" was released on DVD- he promptly brought it home. He sat down and watched the last 45 minutes with us. Here was his professional review of the film.
"Edward is like the Adam Lambert of the vampire kind"
and the even more profound
"You can totally tell a chick wrote this"
I claimed he was being sexist because men have written love stories before (ever heard of Nicholas Sparks?) and how did he know it would be different. He retorted "because if a guy wrote this book- instead of Bella whining at Jacob not to kill Edward and Jacob listening...Jacob would have ripped her throat out and then killed Edward".
And there you have it folks. He's such a romantic. (notice how he did get all their names right...I'm just sayin)
"Edward is like the Adam Lambert of the vampire kind"
and the even more profound
"You can totally tell a chick wrote this"
I claimed he was being sexist because men have written love stories before (ever heard of Nicholas Sparks?) and how did he know it would be different. He retorted "because if a guy wrote this book- instead of Bella whining at Jacob not to kill Edward and Jacob listening...Jacob would have ripped her throat out and then killed Edward".
And there you have it folks. He's such a romantic. (notice how he did get all their names right...I'm just sayin)
Friday, March 26, 2010
lies
To anyone who has ever told me I don't have big ears (aka Mom) I present you with this.
In the words of my sister (in between fits of laughter) "well maybe you grew into them?"
Thanks for the lies. I should have known not to trust the people who told me Santa Claus was real and that if I crossed my eyes for long enough my face would stay that way.
In the words of my sister (in between fits of laughter) "well maybe you grew into them?"
Thanks for the lies. I should have known not to trust the people who told me Santa Claus was real and that if I crossed my eyes for long enough my face would stay that way.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
gleeky quote of the day
"Status is like currency. When your bank account is full, you can get away with doing just about anything. But right now, we're like toxic assets."
-Quinn Fabray
-Quinn Fabray
truth
I may or may not have had 2 Grandma's Banana Oaties for breakfast.
In my defense they have oats. And bananas.
Practically oatmeal with bananas....[and chocolate chips on top]....not too unhealthy right? Right?!
In my defense they have oats. And bananas.
Practically oatmeal with bananas....[and chocolate chips on top]....not too unhealthy right? Right?!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Love Like a Seahorse
I've always been fascinated by ocean life. Remember how I want a pygmy octopus as a pet? Yes. I do. Another underwater creature I've always loved are seahorses. I just think they are so unique and cool. My little brother is doing a project on seahorses and I've been helping him with it. I've learned so much about them and something I really love is the way they love. Each other. My favorite part? When the seahorses are courting each other they dance for one another. How amazing and beautiful is that? I love dancing. It's such a beautiful expression of feeling. And these seahorses, these monogamous seahorses find each other each day and dance. Beautiful.
Who knew we could learn so much from seahorses? Did you see that word monogamous? If seahorses can do it I don't know why so many humans in the world let others into their heart besides their spouse. So yay for seahorses!
Plus the males carry the babies. Genius. :)
Who knew we could learn so much from seahorses? Did you see that word monogamous? If seahorses can do it I don't know why so many humans in the world let others into their heart besides their spouse. So yay for seahorses!
Plus the males carry the babies. Genius. :)
photo(s) of the day
These are actual pictures of actual people. Keep that in mind.
Thoughtful Lance. Mirthful Lance. Two sides of a delightful coin.
The Purvis family made several stops along the Oregon Trail to document their 6 month journey. This photo was taken just 2 weeks before dysentery took Momma to Jesus.
Olan Mills backdrop #4. Bucolic meadow with split rail fence. Is that an animal carcass behind her?
Bobbi isn't the first waitress to fall for her manager but her and Dale both got fired from Shoney's
The library might be more believable if the shelves weren't sloping downhill. Is that a book on teen pregnancy?
Kenneth and his prom date
Sisterhood of the Traveling Perms: you go straight you're out of the sisterhood. No exceptions.
Finally, by combining their efforts, these three were able to muster up some inclement weather.
A website where you can find more delightful photos like these awkward family photos
Because I know you aren't busy anyway....
Thoughtful Lance. Mirthful Lance. Two sides of a delightful coin.
The Purvis family made several stops along the Oregon Trail to document their 6 month journey. This photo was taken just 2 weeks before dysentery took Momma to Jesus.
Olan Mills backdrop #4. Bucolic meadow with split rail fence. Is that an animal carcass behind her?
Bobbi isn't the first waitress to fall for her manager but her and Dale both got fired from Shoney's
The library might be more believable if the shelves weren't sloping downhill. Is that a book on teen pregnancy?
Kenneth and his prom date
Sisterhood of the Traveling Perms: you go straight you're out of the sisterhood. No exceptions.
Finally, by combining their efforts, these three were able to muster up some inclement weather.
A website where you can find more delightful photos like these awkward family photos
Because I know you aren't busy anyway....
Currently Obsessed
Since I'm always discovering new things and have an addictive personality- I become obsessed easily. Currently I'm loving...
Pantene Pro-V Natural Fusions Shampoo/Conditioner-Moisture Balance
My hair is softer, stronger, smells great and they use natural ingredients so they don't have those sulfates that are so bad for your hair. Love it! (to all my Fishers friends please don't tell Mark Starnes that I'm using Pantene. He'll lose it.)
Vaseline 100% pure petroleum jelly
This stuff is just the best. I use it to remove eye make up, I use it on my lips and it's better than any lip gloss out there. Love love love.
Didi Benami on American Idol. I just love this girl! She has such a great voice. Her version of The Rolling Stones "Play With Fire" just kills me. Love it.
Bath & Body Works
My friend Jess and I practically robbed the place last week- after discounts, sales, and coupons. I bought 2 new scents that I really love.
Midnight Pomegranate
Pomegranate-y, spicy, blackberry-ish....it's delicious (you like how many words I made up right then? I do)
White Citrus
Lemony, grapefuity, clean, crisp, love it. Helps you remember that Spring is just around the corner
White Collar
I don't know if I've posted about this show before or not but it's great. It's on USA Network (where everything they make is good...case in point- Psych) It's about this white collar criminal who escapes from federal prison and makes a deal with the FBI to help them solve white collar cases instead of go back to jail. There is this whole mysterious back story going on as well. Add a dirty fed, Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell, and sarcastic humor and you've got yourself a show. Plus it's pretty easy on the eyes if you know what I mean.
And last but most deliciously....
Farr Ice Cream has introduced new flavors based on popular Keebler cookies.
Oh you thought E.L. Fudge cookies couldn't get any better?
How bout dark chocolate ice cream with E.L. fudge cookie pieces and a chocolate marble swirl?
Boom! Delicious!
Like Vanilla Wafers do you?
How about vanilla bean ice cream with Vanilla wafer pieces?
What? Boom! Delicious!
Chips Deluxe?
Yes please how about with brown sugar flavor ice cream, cookie dough, and Chips Deluxe pieces?
Boom! Delicious!
You're obsessed now too aren't you? Any new obsessions you have?
Pantene Pro-V Natural Fusions Shampoo/Conditioner-Moisture Balance
My hair is softer, stronger, smells great and they use natural ingredients so they don't have those sulfates that are so bad for your hair. Love it! (to all my Fishers friends please don't tell Mark Starnes that I'm using Pantene. He'll lose it.)
Vaseline 100% pure petroleum jelly
This stuff is just the best. I use it to remove eye make up, I use it on my lips and it's better than any lip gloss out there. Love love love.
Didi Benami on American Idol. I just love this girl! She has such a great voice. Her version of The Rolling Stones "Play With Fire" just kills me. Love it.
Bath & Body Works
My friend Jess and I practically robbed the place last week- after discounts, sales, and coupons. I bought 2 new scents that I really love.
Midnight Pomegranate
Pomegranate-y, spicy, blackberry-ish....it's delicious (you like how many words I made up right then? I do)
White Citrus
Lemony, grapefuity, clean, crisp, love it. Helps you remember that Spring is just around the corner
White Collar
I don't know if I've posted about this show before or not but it's great. It's on USA Network (where everything they make is good...case in point- Psych) It's about this white collar criminal who escapes from federal prison and makes a deal with the FBI to help them solve white collar cases instead of go back to jail. There is this whole mysterious back story going on as well. Add a dirty fed, Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell, and sarcastic humor and you've got yourself a show. Plus it's pretty easy on the eyes if you know what I mean.
And last but most deliciously....
Farr Ice Cream has introduced new flavors based on popular Keebler cookies.
Oh you thought E.L. Fudge cookies couldn't get any better?
How bout dark chocolate ice cream with E.L. fudge cookie pieces and a chocolate marble swirl?
Boom! Delicious!
Like Vanilla Wafers do you?
How about vanilla bean ice cream with Vanilla wafer pieces?
What? Boom! Delicious!
Chips Deluxe?
Yes please how about with brown sugar flavor ice cream, cookie dough, and Chips Deluxe pieces?
Boom! Delicious!
You're obsessed now too aren't you? Any new obsessions you have?
gleeky quote of the day
I love Sue Sylvester. She is so funny. I could probably post one of her quotes every day until April 13th and still not run out. Here is another one for you.
"I'll often yell at homeless people 'Hey how's that homelessness working out for you? Give NOT being homeless a try!'"
-Sue Sylvester
And just in case you were thirsty for more:
"I'll often yell at homeless people 'Hey how's that homelessness working out for you? Give NOT being homeless a try!'"
-Sue Sylvester
And just in case you were thirsty for more:
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
gleeky quote of the day
"Listen you little psycho this is Will's wife and if I don't get enough sleep my anti-depressants don't work, and then I'll go crazy and I'll kill you."
-Terri Schuester
-Terri Schuester
A Brief Interlude With Becky
One of my best friends in the whole world is a girl by the name of Becky. We met when I worked at the hair salon and she pretty much became my BFF. We would go shopping, hang out, I'd babysit her kids, we went to concerts together. We laugh hysterically whenever we are together. Thanks to modern technology even though I live a billion miles away we can still crack each other up. Last night we had a conversation that I wanted to write down for posterity (you're welcome future children). And for all you who watch "Dancing With the Stars" all of my opinions on the show can be found in this conversation:
V: Dancing with the stars? how is edyta so hot? jealous
B: She always is! Why is pamela anderson so disgusting?
V: She always is! did you know i'm in love with that ice skater?
B: you would be! i'm in love with max
V: you would be!
B: I think max loves himself more than i do though
V: yes for sure
B: and what's up with f-ing buzz "i'm older than crap" aldrin?
V: lol for real
B: he's so cute but i'm thinking why ruin the fact that you walked on the moon by doing dancing with the stars?
V: for sure I would want moonwalking to be my legacy too...and it will be. but the dancing kind
B:you are a great moonwalker
V: this is true
B: you know who else I love derek hough
V: really? he kinda comes off like a tool to me
B: I just think he seems fun and boy next door cute
V: yeah if the boy next door is a douche
B: whatever I'm just saying i would go Mormon for him thats all
V: well being Mormon does give you the immediate ability to dance
B: and be awesome
V: exactly
B: did you go buy "new moon" yet?
V: no not yet...did you? did you go to a midnight release party dressed like Edward's mistress?
B: Omg did you see me on youtube? and p.s edyta's partner is hot
V: yes and british
B: which is like making him 5 times hotter
V: um duh I'm glad they fixed his teeth before he came to this country
B: lol why does kate gosselin look like a different person entirely???
V: I don't know...maybe because she doesn't have a lesbian haircut anymore?
B: ha if her hair was long and straight I would swear she was a barbie tonight
V: yeah because Barbie doesn't bend her arms either
B: you're cracking me up. I meant her dress
V: well that too
And there you have it. Miss ya Beck
V: Dancing with the stars? how is edyta so hot? jealous
B: She always is! Why is pamela anderson so disgusting?
V: She always is! did you know i'm in love with that ice skater?
B: you would be! i'm in love with max
V: you would be!
B: I think max loves himself more than i do though
V: yes for sure
B: and what's up with f-ing buzz "i'm older than crap" aldrin?
V: lol for real
B: he's so cute but i'm thinking why ruin the fact that you walked on the moon by doing dancing with the stars?
V: for sure I would want moonwalking to be my legacy too...and it will be. but the dancing kind
B:you are a great moonwalker
V: this is true
B: you know who else I love derek hough
V: really? he kinda comes off like a tool to me
B: I just think he seems fun and boy next door cute
V: yeah if the boy next door is a douche
B: whatever I'm just saying i would go Mormon for him thats all
V: well being Mormon does give you the immediate ability to dance
B: and be awesome
V: exactly
B: did you go buy "new moon" yet?
V: no not yet...did you? did you go to a midnight release party dressed like Edward's mistress?
B: Omg did you see me on youtube? and p.s edyta's partner is hot
V: yes and british
B: which is like making him 5 times hotter
V: um duh I'm glad they fixed his teeth before he came to this country
B: lol why does kate gosselin look like a different person entirely???
V: I don't know...maybe because she doesn't have a lesbian haircut anymore?
B: ha if her hair was long and straight I would swear she was a barbie tonight
V: yeah because Barbie doesn't bend her arms either
B: you're cracking me up. I meant her dress
V: well that too
And there you have it. Miss ya Beck
Monday, March 22, 2010
Evil people vs. Good people
Evil people
- The former geeks who now work at "Best Buy" and have inferiority complexes
- the inventor of the magnifying make up mirror
- Jason Alexander
- those girls who can wake up and have that cute touseled hair look instead of a greasy rat nest ball
- anyone who works at the the DMV or library (why are you so grouchy?!)
- Oprah
- Inventor of the ice cream cone
- Slash
- any man who buys me diamonds
- me
- the inventor of diet coke (especially with lime)
- Jimmy Choo
boo
"I want the government to give people more reasons to reach out and help their neighbor- not give people an easy way out of relationship by writing a check and letting Big Brother dole out help according to their "system". Boo Congress. Do better."
Courtesy of my friend Joy. To that I give an amen. That's all I'll say about that.
Courtesy of my friend Joy. To that I give an amen. That's all I'll say about that.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
gleeky quote (s) of the day
"Oh, Hell to the nah! Look, I'm not down with all this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyoncé, I ain't no Kelly Rowland!"
-Mercedes Jones
"The wheelchair kid is right. That Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire, but she can sing"
-Noah "Puck" Puckerman
And for your video...this girl has an AH MAY ZING voice. Enjoy.
-Mercedes Jones
"The wheelchair kid is right. That Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire, but she can sing"
-Noah "Puck" Puckerman
And for your video...this girl has an AH MAY ZING voice. Enjoy.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
late
missed the glee quote...sorry! I know you were all looking forward to it. Let's just say I woke up at 8 am and immediately started vomiting (sorry TMI)...the day went down hill from there. Thanks to trusty Pepto, Sprite/crackers, and a whole lot of 80's movies (i.e Pretty In Pink, Benny & Joon, Some Kind of Wonderful, Sixteen Candles) I'm feeling a bit better. I'll give you 2 Glee quotes tomorrow just to make up for it.
Now I'm off for another nap which I've taken about 1000 of today. I will leave you with a question however..is there a better movie than "Hook"? I mean...complete genius right? RUFIO RUFIO RUFIO! Amazing. Think happy thoughts.
Now I'm off for another nap which I've taken about 1000 of today. I will leave you with a question however..is there a better movie than "Hook"? I mean...complete genius right? RUFIO RUFIO RUFIO! Amazing. Think happy thoughts.
Friday, March 19, 2010
friday i'm in love
1. Grace Potter and the Nocturnals- White Rabbit
2. The Rolling Stones- Play With Fire
3. Noah and the Whale- Blue Skies
4. Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris- Hallelujah
5. Sixpence None the Richer- Kiss Me
6. Everly- Quicksand
7. Patty Griffin & Emmylou Harris- Little Fire
8. Wakey! Wakey!- Dance So Good
9. Santigold- You'll Find a Way
10. Didi Benami- Rhiannon
11. Matt Morris- Bloodline
12. Lynyard Skynyrd- Tuesdays Gone
13. Ryan Adams- Come Pick Me Up
14. The Replacements- Here Comes A Regular
15. Run- DMC- It's Like That
16. Merril Bainbridge- Mouth
17. Glee Cast- Hair/Crazy In Love
18. Bell Biv DeVoe- Poison
Weekend Playlist. Enjoy.
2. The Rolling Stones- Play With Fire
3. Noah and the Whale- Blue Skies
4. Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris- Hallelujah
5. Sixpence None the Richer- Kiss Me
6. Everly- Quicksand
7. Patty Griffin & Emmylou Harris- Little Fire
8. Wakey! Wakey!- Dance So Good
9. Santigold- You'll Find a Way
10. Didi Benami- Rhiannon
11. Matt Morris- Bloodline
12. Lynyard Skynyrd- Tuesdays Gone
13. Ryan Adams- Come Pick Me Up
14. The Replacements- Here Comes A Regular
15. Run- DMC- It's Like That
16. Merril Bainbridge- Mouth
17. Glee Cast- Hair/Crazy In Love
18. Bell Biv DeVoe- Poison
Weekend Playlist. Enjoy.
parks and rec
I love Parks and Recreation. It is one of my favorite shows on TV right now. I think it is entirely underrated.
All the characters on this show make me laugh. Last night my favorite funny guy Andy Samberg was guest starring as a park ranger. He was hilarious.
My absolute favorite character though is Tom. He has some of the best lines.
Tom: "You can't say your favorite cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal".
Tom: "All I want in life is to own a nightclub on every continent, have my own line of upscale sweatsuits and cologne called Tommy Fresh and I fell a thousand dollars short."
Tom: "This VIP card gives you exclusive access to the investment opportunity of a lifetime. Where? Multipurpose room F. When? 3 p.m. Dress code? Black tie optional. Just like life."
Tom: "I want to open up my own club one day, maybe call it something like Club a Dub Dub, or the Club Marine. Sort of a submarine-themed club. Or Tom's Bistro. The word bistro is classy as %#@$"
Tom: "I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?"
Zack: "It was nice meeting you?"
Tom: "No, Zack. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, 'what's crackin'"
Thursday nights NBC right before The Office. You're Welcome. And I should be getting paid for this endorsement. (I'm not)
All the characters on this show make me laugh. Last night my favorite funny guy Andy Samberg was guest starring as a park ranger. He was hilarious.
My absolute favorite character though is Tom. He has some of the best lines.
Tom: "You can't say your favorite cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal".
Tom: "All I want in life is to own a nightclub on every continent, have my own line of upscale sweatsuits and cologne called Tommy Fresh and I fell a thousand dollars short."
Tom: "This VIP card gives you exclusive access to the investment opportunity of a lifetime. Where? Multipurpose room F. When? 3 p.m. Dress code? Black tie optional. Just like life."
Tom: "I want to open up my own club one day, maybe call it something like Club a Dub Dub, or the Club Marine. Sort of a submarine-themed club. Or Tom's Bistro. The word bistro is classy as %#@$"
Tom: "I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?"
Zack: "It was nice meeting you?"
Tom: "No, Zack. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, 'what's crackin'"
Thursday nights NBC right before The Office. You're Welcome. And I should be getting paid for this endorsement. (I'm not)
gleeky quote of the day
I've also decided to include video clips. So that you fall in love like I have.
"I don't know why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of four is rainbows."
-Kurt Hummel
"I don't know why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of four is rainbows."
-Kurt Hummel
Friday Spotlight - Corinne Freeman
This week's spotlight is a friend that I've had for a long time....since Elementary school to be exact. We lost touch when I moved but no matter what she is always there to lend a listening ear and I really admire that about her. She is crazy creative and artistic and is a mom to 2 adorable kids. For some reason I could not find a single picture of us together. We were both really stubborn and would fight so maybe they were all lost in some post-fight burning ritual? JK....I stole some from her from when we were in Elementary school- warning. They are extremely sexy.
Corinne's house was awesome because she had a pool in her backyard. We spent many summer days swimming and playing around in the backyard. Here we are blowing bubbles with gum. We were total Bad-A's
Our parents let us go Trick or Treating on our own for the first time in 5th grade. We went with our friend Whitney (pictured below as Cleopatra). I'm not sure what Corinne is supposed to be and I am obviously a girl in pigtails and pajamas with clown make up on (aka a baby) *As a side note to Corinne...do you remember when Ben Clements and his older brother chased us around the Baird's front yard wearing all black and masks? What a tool.
And now I present you with Corinne's Questionnaire.
Three Greatest Achievements
1. Giving Birth. Twice! Although I will only count this as one. It probably would have been a greater acheivement if I'd done it au natural and all but seeing as I'm a wimp, I got the best thing known to [wo]man: an epidual
2. Scoring 36 on the language part of the ACT. [don't ask me how I did on math]
3. My art. This is pretty all-encompassing...but being asked to show pieces at several invitation only exhibits and selling a piece to my high school for permanent display and just my creative process in general.
Three Names You Go By:
1. Mommy
2. Shorty
3. C [my mom calls me that]
Three Things That Scare You:
1. Spiders [I get the heebie jeebies just thinking about them]
2. Scary movies
3. My kids growing up to hate and/or resent me
Three things that make you happy:
1. My family
2. Bubble baths [long, hot ones]
3. Coke! Mmm....I want one. Now.
Three things you hate:
1. When my babies are sick/hurting and I can't take it away
2. Feeling helpless
3. Vulgarity...when it's over the top, way too much at once
Three things that you are wearing right now:
1. A T shirt that says "bite me" [it's hubby's, he got it in Salem, MA...it has a big bat on it]
2. Jammie pants! Baggy flannel comfy ones!
3. My big fat diamond on my left finger :)
Three things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. Blue eyes/blond hair
2. Nice butt [my hubby's got the BEST rear end in the world, and I mean that]
3. That ring on my hubby's finger that means he's MINE...muahhahahahaha
Three careers you've considered:
1. Graphic Designer
2. Fashion Designer
3. Art Therapist [specifically working with kids who have been sexually abused]
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Visit Europe: France, Italy, England...spend hours in art museums
2. Finish my degree
3. Be truly happy with myself
Describe yourself in one word:
That is a hard one....hubby says "wonderful" [then he says PAIN]
I think I would say...passionate
*For my own commentary I would say passionate also...look at her passion for blowing that bubble gum bubble up there. Intense focus and definite passion.
And for no reason at all. Corinne on a horse.
You're welcome.
Stay tuned for next week...you never know. You may see yourself on here.
Corinne's house was awesome because she had a pool in her backyard. We spent many summer days swimming and playing around in the backyard. Here we are blowing bubbles with gum. We were total Bad-A's
Our parents let us go Trick or Treating on our own for the first time in 5th grade. We went with our friend Whitney (pictured below as Cleopatra). I'm not sure what Corinne is supposed to be and I am obviously a girl in pigtails and pajamas with clown make up on (aka a baby) *As a side note to Corinne...do you remember when Ben Clements and his older brother chased us around the Baird's front yard wearing all black and masks? What a tool.
And now I present you with Corinne's Questionnaire.
Three Greatest Achievements
1. Giving Birth. Twice! Although I will only count this as one. It probably would have been a greater acheivement if I'd done it au natural and all but seeing as I'm a wimp, I got the best thing known to [wo]man: an epidual
2. Scoring 36 on the language part of the ACT. [don't ask me how I did on math]
3. My art. This is pretty all-encompassing...but being asked to show pieces at several invitation only exhibits and selling a piece to my high school for permanent display and just my creative process in general.
Three Names You Go By:
1. Mommy
2. Shorty
3. C [my mom calls me that]
Three Things That Scare You:
1. Spiders [I get the heebie jeebies just thinking about them]
2. Scary movies
3. My kids growing up to hate and/or resent me
Three things that make you happy:
1. My family
2. Bubble baths [long, hot ones]
3. Coke! Mmm....I want one. Now.
Three things you hate:
1. When my babies are sick/hurting and I can't take it away
2. Feeling helpless
3. Vulgarity...when it's over the top, way too much at once
Three things that you are wearing right now:
1. A T shirt that says "bite me" [it's hubby's, he got it in Salem, MA...it has a big bat on it]
2. Jammie pants! Baggy flannel comfy ones!
3. My big fat diamond on my left finger :)
Three things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. Blue eyes/blond hair
2. Nice butt [my hubby's got the BEST rear end in the world, and I mean that]
3. That ring on my hubby's finger that means he's MINE...muahhahahahaha
Three careers you've considered:
1. Graphic Designer
2. Fashion Designer
3. Art Therapist [specifically working with kids who have been sexually abused]
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Visit Europe: France, Italy, England...spend hours in art museums
2. Finish my degree
3. Be truly happy with myself
Describe yourself in one word:
That is a hard one....hubby says "wonderful" [then he says PAIN]
I think I would say...passionate
*For my own commentary I would say passionate also...look at her passion for blowing that bubble gum bubble up there. Intense focus and definite passion.
And for no reason at all. Corinne on a horse.
You're welcome.
Stay tuned for next week...you never know. You may see yourself on here.
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