Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The day I won an Emmy

I love award shows.  I've been so deprived since the Oscars.  Oh sure we had the Daytime Emmys (the red-headed step-child of Emmy shows) and the Teen Choice Awards (which I TOTALLY did not watch....) But like manna from heaven came
The 62nd Annual Emmy Awards
(the actual ones)

Nothing disappointed this year (besides some tragic dresses...which we'll get to).  Emmys need 3 things to be amazing
1. Equal parts hilarious and awesome opening number
CHECK!  Jimmy Fallon + Glee + John Hamm + Tina Fey + Betty White + Bruce Springsteen music =

(it would have been a better equation if they had "minused" Kate Gosselin...but not everything is perfect)

2. Equal parts hilarious and awesome host
DOUBLE CHECK! Jimmy Fallon was completely amazing....I frequently look at him and think...."we were meant to be soul mates"....and then Jake Gyllenhaal gets all heartbroken and we can't have that so.....I digress

The third thing the Emmys needs to be totally fabulous is of course the dresses!

As you know from past award shows- I have a fondness for award show dresses.   If you've missed any you can check them out here, here, and here (but I'm not obsessed)

So once again I am handing out my own awards......ready?  Here we go!

The "we all got together and planned out what color we were going to wear like we are in junior high" award:
These people....

Julie Bowen

Padma what's her face

I don't know who she is and had no desire to look it up

Jane Kraskowski

Jayma Mays

Lea Michele

I'm no Rachel Zoe but I would venture to guess that Navy is a popular color right now?

The "most likely to win Prom Queen/King" award

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski

His bowtie matches her dress.....I rest my case.

The "I'm the ghost of Emmys past" award

Mindy Kaling 
 She will cut you.

The "I got this dress at Charlotte Russe" award 

Sofia what's her face

The "whoops you forgot to un-tuck your napkin" award:

Lauren Graham

The "whoops your dress is fugly" award
Emily Deschanel

The "stop seducing me with your eyes Cory Monteith" award:

 Cory Monteith

We're in a relationship.

The "50% Gladiator, 50% black silk, 100% unfortunate" award:

Anna Paquin

The "I'm sorry the Emmy's aren't actually at the beach this year" award:

 (yes I know that's not her name but that's who she'll always be to me)

The "best use of Seal" award:
Heidi Klum...and Seal of course

The "CPS will never catch me" award:
Kate Gosselin

What are you even doing there??? 

The "best use of what your mama gave you" award:

Christina Hendricks

Besides Marilyn Monroe- this woman is the definition of bombshell

The "Hey where's Maria we need her to interview Tom Hanks.....oh there she is being photographed again" award:
Maria Menunous

You are not actually a star....you work for Access Hollywood as an interviewer of the stars....know your place.

The "best use of the graphics from the opening of Saved By the Bell" award:

Tina Fey

I rest my case.

And now we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a Jon Hamm break.....feast your eyes...... 

Do you feel the healing powers of his smile? The warm tingly feeling his perfectly coiffed hair is creating from your toes all the way up your spine?

Whew ok....sorry.

Back to the dresses

The "maybe we should have taken a Xanex before getting dressed" award:

Naya Rivera 

The "I borrowed most of this fabric from Charlize's Oscar dress" award:

January Jones

 Maybe you could have combed your hair? And maybe your cone boobs are about to poke out my eye?

The "best white dress on a red carpet moment" award:

Kim Kardashian

The "you clean up nice" award:
 Mariska Hargitay

And for my top favorites....

Heather Morris

Jenna Fischer



loved! And did you see her sing for the "In Memorium"....amazing!

Dianna Agron

You can say what you want...I thought she looked stunning.  And you can't go wrong with Carolina Herrera

Claire Daines

Flawless....and I'm a sucker for sparkles...

I of course wore this...

Isn't it totally GORG!?
Purple really is my color...just for future reference.

Anyone else watch?  What were your thoughts?

"You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left."

Immortal words to live by.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Mam and Papa

I was feeling sentimental so I made this video...

Friday, August 20, 2010

The day I had a Pop-Tart theory

Some people believe in the Democrat party.  Some believe in the Republican party.  I support a different party.
The Pop-Tart party.

I have a firm belief in the fact that if  everyone had a cherry pop-tart...this world would be a much better place.  Terrorism would not exist.  Who wants to terrorize people when they have a gift from angels in their hands?  I picture the conversation going something like this...

"Hey guys you want to go bomb some innocent people?"
"Well we could....but we have cherry pop-tarts so....why would we?"

Cherry pop-tarts solve all world problems from threat level red to threat level midnight.  These are to be reserved for serious world problems.

But what if the terror threat is say...at a yellow/orange might you ask?

To that the simple answer is blueberry.  Blueberry pop-tarts.

Still with me?  Good.

If your threat level is at a safe green level the answer is brown sugar cinnamon.  Everyone loves them but they aren't really anything special.  They just keep people happy.

And as far as these go....

Clearly the inventor was just trying to get in my pants.

Friday, August 13, 2010

The day Ginger got bangs

We're on vacation and there will be PLENTY more pictures to come however I thought I'd give you a preview with some earth shattering news...
Ginger got bangs!

Are you freaking out right now?  I bet you are.

Here's a picture that will blow your mind

I know.

*Side Note: Ginger is my sister Mackenzie. She is known as Ginger in our house.  Because of her Ginger hair.  I would not advise anyone else besides our immediate family to call her this.  The consequences may be dire.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Best. Movie. Ever.

Monday, August 9, 2010

The day my best friend had the cutesest baby girl.....ever.

There are many perks to working at Macy's.  One of them being adorable baby clothes that I get to browse anytime I want.  I found the most adorable outfit there for my best friend Beth's baby girl Brooklyn and had been saving it for weeks waiting for them to come visit.  Beth texted me yesterday telling me she wore the dress to church so I had to have pictures.  And just for me they set up a photo shoot to showcase the dress.
(I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact they have the most photogenic baby on earth and love taking pictures of her- it was for me and I'm standing by that)

It's ok that you're jealous of how cute she is.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The day I still loved Taylor Swift

"you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter you are the best thing that's ever been mine"
- Taylor Swift "Mine"

I love Taylor Swift and I have been counting down the days for her new single to be released.  And it does not disappoint.  It has absolutely nothing to do with fairytales, princesses, or guys that should belong to her.

I'm obsessed.

And her new CD "Speak Now" releases on October 25th.

Which just happens to be the birthday of a certain pretty little blogger we all know and love.

And no I'm not talking about Perez Hilton.

You can listen to it here.  Just go ahead and hit repeat now.

The day my family did stuff

I know it's been like 4 whole months without a family update.  I'm sure you're all waiting anxiously for this one.  I can hear you now...

"I can't believe Vanessa hasn't updated us on the family in SO LONG!"

"I know...I'm waiting with bated breath!"

"I can't take the suspense anymore!!!

Or the more realistic-

"Oh I forgot Vanessa has a blog"

Well love it or love it not- here it comes!

My parents went to Indiana to go pick up some of our stuff we left there and left me alone for a week watching the kids...

This was also the first week of 85 degree weather.  And the first week our swamp cooler didn't work.  And it was miserable.
I also worked my first week of work which if you missed it- you can read about {here}

Bub however looked totally rad in a monkey towel and I watched the NBA Finals (YEAH LAKERS!)

And I made a fruit pizza

I continued to work.  A lot.

My sister moved to Seattle :(
Luckily I captured this stellar photo with my Polaroid app on my phone before she left.  Or we'd be lost right now.

In the meantime my cousin took this picture of herself.

And we bought some red chairs

Also my cat understood how to use the computer better than our mom does

Speaking of my cat- I spent the rest of the month taking pictures like this



And of course this

I'm not like a weird cat lady or anything though.

We switched it up a bit this 4th of July and watched fireworks in lawn chairs rather than just on the grass.  We're rebels like that.  
Here are some sweet action shots I took with my cell phone.

I learned that I become highly irritable around incompetent people and those obnoxious self-lighting at home fireworks (especially those ones that scream....I mean....really?)
And as far as sparklers go- I love them but maybe...and I'm just saying this as a theory....I'm no Dr. Phil here but....maybe 2 year olds shouldn't be given sticks lit with fire that get up to 450 degrees?  Maybe?

Just a thought.
Also I become irritable when parents decide that them having a good time and ending up like this

Is way more important than actually watching your children when lighting explosives.

I've also learned I should probably be on Xanex.

We had a BBQ with our friends the Miguels.
Bub was in charge of the kids


(that's my friend Allie's baby Holland...she's adorable)

The guys played basketball just as well as the '95 Chicago Bulls- or the 2010 Indiana Pacers, one of the two.

I taught my first Relief Society lesson and pretty much looked like this the entire time

It went pretty good though.

Bub had a swim party with his karate group and we took some artistic "through the water" shots

Bub was concerned

My bestest best friend Beth came and visited with her AH-DOR-ABLE baby Brooklyn
I was incredibly obnoxious with the camera- lucky for me Brooklyn loved it

Bub loved it too...

I continued my run as an up and coming photographer by taking these incredibly artistic nature shots

And a whole box of these showed up in our pantry


(notice how I placed it on the envelope so it didn't blend it with the table)

50 points goes to the person who can name what that is.

And I was hit on at work by a guy who was just released from "lock up". Yes he really was.  Yes he told me this.  Yes he called it lock up.  Yes I said yes.  No I'm not desperate.
And just to let y'all know.  The TV lies.  This guy did not look anything like Wentworth Miller in "Prison Break"

He did however heavily resemble this guy

I know what you're thinking...."how did Vanessa get so lucky?"
And to that I say-
my charm and good looks
Plus I'm just a natural babe magnet.

I think that's pretty much it.  Be looking for another update sometime in November when I show you how I've finally succeeded in making my hair look exactly like Justin Bieber's

And how I've invented time travel so I can go back in time and make this happen

And I showcase the only dance move I know- a sweet hip shake move rightly named "The Rick"

Don't be a hater.
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