Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The day there was an Eclipse....

a Twilight Eclipse that is.  No I haven't seen it yet.  I'm not one of those "crazy" girls who stands in line to go see midnight showings (and not just because it was sold out....yeah we'll go with that) but let's be honest...I don't mind me some Edward and Jacob...(ahh.....Jacob....)
Here we are just hanging out...

Twilight fever has definitely struck the heart of Utah. Fun fact time: the top 5 most sold out and most viewed showings of Eclipse were ALL in Utah.....NATIONWIDE people!!!  On Saturday at work I was having an awful day.  My sales sucked and I was just wanting to go home (I was also only supposed to work a 5 hour shift but was asked to close).  Around 3:00 I had 2 girls come in and ask if I could do make up on them.  I get asked this almost every time I work however this request was a bit different...
They were going to a Twilight party....and girl #1 needed to have vampire make up.  Girl #2 was wondering if I could do "werewolf" make up because she is "TOTALLY Team Jacob".  I looked to the heavens and just knew some one up there was laughing.  I did my best and they both left happy as could be.
I however had this text conversation with my Dad:

Me: You do realize I would have been done an hour ago...and my sales SUCK today
Dad: Four Words.  Money in the bank.  Hang in there.  It will get better.
Me: Three Words.  Not enough money.  And I'm not so sure it will...the only thing I've really done is vampire make up on 2 girls for a Twilight party....shoot me now.
Dad: Three words.  Better than zero.
Me: Two words.  Vampire make-up.

I am looking forward to seeing the movie.  Some burning questions I hope are answered are:
1. Did Kristin Stewart finally learn how to act?
2. Did the guys in the werewolf pack finally take a page of of Jacob's book and work out? I mean c'mon is there such a thing as a flabby werewolf?

I would be happy if they could just get Jasper's hair right. Here he is looking like Natalie Portman.

(And yes to answer your question....Jasper's hair has been a serious in-depth conversation in our house since the first movie)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

the day I had a dream...

and not the Martin Luther King Jr. kind....

the cranberry kind.

I want to go to a cranberry bog.  Yeah I'm serious.  I have vivid and intense dreams about this and I practically squeal every time I see an Ocean Spray commercial.  Note to all the guys out there in line for a piece of this....if you promise to take me to a cranberry bog you move to the front of the line (also if you have a horse).

The day I came back....

SO...yes I know it's been awhile.  Have you missed me? My blog would have just been so blah that I've put off updating it to avoid the "today I went to work" every day updates.  I needed something...I needed to be inspired...and then like manna from heaven....this happened.

And that was exactly what I needed to get out of my blogging slump.  Some therories on why this relationship failed...
1. She thought marriage was like preschool and Jake was her show and tell
2. Her Dad thought Jake was coming in between their "special" relationship
3. Jake finally found out she was a man (plastic surgery rumors? how about gender re-assignment surgery rumors?)
And with that I officially announce my return to the blogging community!

(pause for roaring applause and emphatic cheering)
Oh c'mon now guys please really....sit down...I know I'm incredible but really! This is just too much!

Ok fine enough of my delusions of grandeur and onto the BLOG! (Since I will be now covering some of the weeks of The Bachelorette that I've missed blogging about I will do so please either scroll up or click will be there)

Monday, June 14, 2010

The day I was a loser baby.....

I'm lame I know...I don't know why I've just felt very uninspired with blogging....but get ready because greatness is coming your way.....get ready for blogs on
1. Glee- finale = AMAZING
2. The Bachelorette- Weatherman....stop.  Just stop.
3. My job- I got an award already...oh yeah.
4. My Dad meeting Dee Snider- um...amazing?
5. My week of babysitting my siblings while my parents were gone

Until then....
Oodalally Oodalally golly what a day.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Comforting to know that we're all headed to a place where hands-on-shoulders, stimulating conversation, and matching outfits are eternal.

*Note to all my LDS many of these types of pictures have you seen hanging up in your other LDS friends houses over the years? Is it like....standard?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The day I worked my first shift...

Welcome to my first official day at work...sit down and make yourselves comfortable because the apparent failed movie script that is my life is about to unfold. 
Now some background information you should know is that up to this point I had only ever done training in a classroom with a computer.  I had never been on the floor...I don't think I'd ever even been to the cosmetics department in this location before.
I come to work...bright eyed and bushy tailed fresh off the boat so to speak.  I meet with my counter manager and she briefly shows me around.  The counter I'm working at is "in gift" at the moment which means if you spend a certain amount (say....32.50) then you receive one of those cute bags filled with free stuff.  So she showed me where those were and all that. I'm standing there and she utters these terrible and fateful words...
"Ok then well my shift is over so I'll see you later!"
She clocks out.  And she leaves.  Me.  Alone.  FOR MY FIRST SHIFT.  I had a brief panic attack and then I said to myself "Kyle....we can do this" (Kyle is what I call my inner self)
And then my first customer came.  And it was a hot filthy mess.
All of a sudden the fluorescent lights were blinding me, my adorable ruched v-neck t-shirt was choking me, they had apparently turned up the heat because it was hotter than Satan's kitchen, and my mouth was so dry I obviously hadn't drank a thing in days.
She wanted a product that I had none of.  So I had to search through every single drawer at the counter to try and find it. 
I then had to offer her her free gift but she barely spoke English so it was 25 minutes of explaining to her what I was trying to give her and why it wouldn't cost her anything.  Finally she was all packed up and went on her merry way.  I'm now sweating like a promiscuous woman in church and my entire body is feeling the after effects of my instinctual fight or flight response and I'm feeling totally inadequate.  I mean I have no and I mean NO experience in this.  We don't really talk about rejuvinating eye cream in the middle of drawing blood and the only free bag I've ever handed out is a colostomy bag.
I'm just sayin.
That was the longest 4 hours of my entire life and I'm sure this story has been the longest 5 minutes of yours.  For that I am deeply sorry.
I did however learn how to match people's foundation color and received my own free sample of the perfect foundation and shade for me.  A definite perk.
I've also discovered one of the greatest perks EVER of working in a cosmetics department...random people are constantly coming up to you telling you how beautiful you or your face or your skin are.  No joke I had 5 complete strangers say one of those 3 things to me during my shift.  It definitely helped me get through- I know what you're thinking right now "but Vanessa...doesn't that happen to you all the time?" and to that I answer...yes, yes it does. Yet another burden of being as gorgeous as Heidi Klum.  It's almost exhausting being this beautiful.
And here just to prove my point is a picture of me looking especially stunning.

Protective eye wear is not a joke kids.
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