Black Friday

Black Friday is truly the only day darker than the day the Casey Anthony trial verdict was read.

I think I have post traumatic stress syndrome.

I'll be back Monday after I've gone to see a therapist.


xoxo

Christmas Eve, Chinese Curse, NyQuil Texts, Hay Truck, 500th Post

THIS IS MY 500TH POST!

Can you believe it?

Don't answer that. 

I can't even believe it's Christmas.  Work has literally sucked my life away. 

A couple weeks ago we had a free gift with purchase going on at my counter.  I had a Chinese woman come up to me and try to convince me that if she bought 2 things she deserved 3 gifts.  I went to 1st grade so I know that's not how things work.  Before she left she angrily said something to me in Chinese and then left.  I have since had the worst luck ever.  Now I'm no Chinese expert but I'm pretty convinced she cursed me.  

Some proof:

Saturday: Day of said curse- I work 2 hours over my shift after only having 1 1/2 hours of sleep and then proceed to have the strangest text conversation in my life that then lead to completely changing a friendship (not for the better).

Thursday: I don't get to close with my best friends

Saturday next: Find out some terrible information.  Terrible.  

Sunday: Colts, Peyton Manning, Interceptions, Sadness

My worst week of sales I've had in a long time.

Check my schedule for New Years Eve.  The store closes at 7pm.  I'm scheduled until 9:15.  Really?  Really!?

Sick with the flu the week before Christmas.  Really?  Really!?

Yep so there's that.  

My addiction to NyQuil has been back in full force and so has my need to send text messages.  Some examples.

To my friend Kathryn:

Me: Oh it's fine.  I just nurse complaubing as much as I CA.

Kathryn: Taken anything?

Me: Twag

Later....

Me: Or you know whatever....I hope your phone I'd on soleby so this doesn't bother you

Me again: Ok well one eye only stays ion so I girss ill just Talbot to you laater.  I live you!

To my friend Jenna:

Me: In siryh I an bot wirhyvd tonfight

Jenna: Whaaa?

Me: I went home early.  I've goes a fever.

Jenna: Ahh man you poor thing get some rest

Me: I will I Judy took nywyil.

To my friend Jack:

Me: Ah yes!  I want that so bad!  O could watch it NT feverish haze.

Me again: Sorry...that's didn't even make sense.

A&E......we have an intervention for you.

Also my friend Kathryn has this awesome truck that is so bad in snowy weather that they have to put hay in the bed to weigh it down.  We got ourselves quite the snowstorm on Monday.  I got to ride home in the hay truck.  We fishtailed.  I saw my life flash before my eyes.  It was awesome.  

Moving right along to preparing for Christmas!  I did some baking again this year. 

I don't know if you remember last year when I single handedly almost ruined Christmas.  Numerous times. 

We had no fatalities in the cookie department, no ruining of the Nativity, no house almost on fire (probably because I have a job this year so it kept me out of the house a lot.  The house is very grateful).  I did make some delicious treats and got to play in the snow with my dog.

Oh I almost forgot to tell you!

I was Mary in the Christmas program at church on Sunday.  It was pretty awesome.  

Whew.  The flu really took away from my posting time so I'm sorry this blog post is so long.  But it is my 500th!  Thanks for sticking around and maybe reading it?  I don't even know if there are any readers.  But whatever.  I'll post 500 more I'm sure.  

And if you don't like it...blame the Chinese curse.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

The day I worked my first shift...

Welcome to my first official day at work...sit down and make yourselves comfortable because the apparent failed movie script that is my life is about to unfold. 
Now some background information you should know is that up to this point I had only ever done training in a classroom with a computer.  I had never been on the floor...I don't think I'd ever even been to the cosmetics department in this location before.
I come to work...bright eyed and bushy tailed fresh off the boat so to speak.  I meet with my counter manager and she briefly shows me around.  The counter I'm working at is "in gift" at the moment which means if you spend a certain amount (say....32.50) then you receive one of those cute bags filled with free stuff.  So she showed me where those were and all that. I'm standing there and she utters these terrible and fateful words...
"Ok then well my shift is over so I'll see you later!"
She clocks out.  And she leaves.  Me.  Alone.  FOR MY FIRST SHIFT.  I had a brief panic attack and then I said to myself "Kyle....we can do this" (Kyle is what I call my inner self)
And then my first customer came.  And it was a hot filthy mess.
All of a sudden the fluorescent lights were blinding me, my adorable ruched v-neck t-shirt was choking me, they had apparently turned up the heat because it was hotter than Satan's kitchen, and my mouth was so dry I obviously hadn't drank a thing in days.
She wanted a product that I had none of.  So I had to search through every single drawer at the counter to try and find it. 
I then had to offer her her free gift but she barely spoke English so it was 25 minutes of explaining to her what I was trying to give her and why it wouldn't cost her anything.  Finally she was all packed up and went on her merry way.  I'm now sweating like a promiscuous woman in church and my entire body is feeling the after effects of my instinctual fight or flight response and I'm feeling totally inadequate.  I mean I have no and I mean NO experience in this.  We don't really talk about rejuvinating eye cream in the middle of drawing blood and the only free bag I've ever handed out is a colostomy bag.
I'm just sayin.
That was the longest 4 hours of my entire life and I'm sure this story has been the longest 5 minutes of yours.  For that I am deeply sorry.
I did however learn how to match people's foundation color and received my own free sample of the perfect foundation and shade for me.  A definite perk.
I've also discovered one of the greatest perks EVER of working in a cosmetics department...random people are constantly coming up to you telling you how beautiful you or your face or your skin are.  No joke I had 5 complete strangers say one of those 3 things to me during my shift.  It definitely helped me get through- I know what you're thinking right now "but Vanessa...doesn't that happen to you all the time?" and to that I answer...yes, yes it does. Yet another burden of being as gorgeous as Heidi Klum.  It's almost exhausting being this beautiful.
And here just to prove my point is a picture of me looking especially stunning.

Protective eye wear is not a joke kids.