Once Upon A Time At the Hospital...

So I have a couple of stories to share and I guarentee NONE of you can one up me on these ones...

First...

On Sunday night we had another code. It was very sad and unexpected and the guy didn't make it. To make a long story short, the funeral home could not pick up his body until IOPO (Indiana Organ Procurement Organization) got a hold of the family for consent for donation. So he was just kind of hanging out...which I know sounds really gross. In the meantime we were told we were going to have an admit- a seizure patient that they needed this guy's room for. "Well what are we going to do with the body?" was the question on everyone's mind.

My clinical manager came down- who I love- and asked if I would help her transfer the body to another room...seriously?

Seriously.

So we move him to the back part of the unit- which is well known throughout the hospital for being haunted. (It's the old maternity floor and many nurses have heard babies crying before when the unit is quiet...and I once had a patient who was talking to babies in her room...creepy)

I was slightly disturbed.

THEN because it might be awhile until they can come get the body, we are told we are going to have to take him to the morgue.

So my friend Allison (who is a nurse) asks me if I'll go with her. So we go down, get the cart from the morgue (which is the creepiest and most disturbing place I've ever been to....I saw stuff in there I could have gone my whole life without seeing).

The morgue (or "body holding" which is what the sign says...yuck) is located in this concrete boiler room that also holds gardening tools and giant wooden slats...uh yes hello...Saw III? I think a scene from your movie is missing...

(not quite as bad as this but awful close...)

So we go back to get the guy to transfer him back down. At one point someone asks..."hey have you seen that movie 'Weekend At Bernie's?"

Nice.

So we finally get him all situated and we hear this "beep beep....beep beep"

and Allison asks me "is that your watch?"

I say..."no...."

because it wasn't...

we look down...

it was HIS watch...

I made a face that was very similar to this one...

Finally we are able to leave and of course when we DIDN'T have a body- security was there within 2 minutes to let us in but when we do have one it takes them 15 minutes to come down while we are just hanging out in the creepy concrete room hoping the lights all don't shut off and we start hearing carnival music or something.

It was disturbing.

Now for story number 2

Last night I walk into one of my patient's rooms. I hear that he is maybe using the urinal in bed so I stand back to give him some privacy. All of a sudden he pulls out his drinking cup from in between his legs and sets it on his bedside table. I can hear the ice still swishing around in the cup. I look down at the cup...sure enough...yellow.

I ask "Sir, did you just urinate in your drinking cup?"

His response "Yep."

Anyone order the "Pee on the Rocks?"

I love my job.