What a Man...

Last week at work I ended up working with all guys. Which is strange working in the nursing field but it happens to me all the time. The 2 nurses were guys and the other tech was a guy. A 12 hour shift with all this testosterone...I can't believe I made it out alive. It did give me the opportunity to engage in some great conversation though. A lot of times I really do prefer hanging out with guys than girls. So I was able to ask them questions and get inside the male mind (scary place...). Through my own life and through the life of my friends I have learned that there are hands you shake and hands you hold so to say. Some guys you should date and others you should NOT. My previous opinions on this subject were completely solidified in talking to these guys...so here is a condensed version for all you ladies out there. Watch out for these ones...

1. The "Bad" Boy

It's true what they say about these guys...my mom used to always have a saying when we were younger "first comes the laughing, then comes the crying"- this phrase sums up these guys. They are fun and maybe "dangerous"...sometimes they have this great dark emotional baggage and you want to be that one woman he "changes" for. The one who "gets" him. NEWS FLASH you are not the only girl who has ever thought that. If he seems completely dysfunctional and messed up...it's because he is. Who needs more dysfunction in their lives?

2. The "make me an offer" guy

We can also refer to this one as the "player". The guy who is always surrounded by girls and playing it cool. He wants you to make him an offer he can't refuse. So he can what...date you AND continue to date the other 3 girls he already was dating? Because most likely- he will. And then you'll be the one hanging out with 2 other guys I like to call "Ben" and "Jerry" feeling sorry for yourself because you should have seen it coming. Yeah...you should have.

3. The back up plan

This quote came directly from one of my friends she said..."I was friends with this guy and I was dating this other guy. Whenever I wasn't dating I would hang out with this friend...until he found out he was my back up and stopped hanging out with me".

Really? And what makes you think that you aren't that same person for some other guy? Isn't it funny how you can be dating this guy and things are going really well for awhile and then they cool down. Well that is normal right? And then out of the blue that guy will start texting you and calling you again and wanting to hang out again. If this happens to you more than once...go ahead and change the name on your birth certificate. It should now read "Back Up".

4. The George Clooney syndrome

Oh my favorite type. The guy who just "hasn't found that right girl yet" to "settle down" with. The ones who are not interested in a long term relationship. These guys want to hang out and spend time with you but one day you are going to wake up and realize that all you've been doing is spending time on a whole lot of nothing. Here's a hint ladies...hypothetically speaking- if you happen to be having a conversation with a guy about your greatest fears in life...and you ask him if he has any fears and...hypothetically if he answers "commitment"- he probably means it.

This syndrome is not to be confused with...

5. The Peter Pan syndrome

The boy who never wants to grow up. Guess what? If he doesn't want to- you certainly are not going to make him. You may end up just being a replacement for his mother. At least the ones with this syndrome are pretty easy to spot....here are some signs to look for

a. he carries his Playstation portable around with him everywhere and high fives you when he beats the other guy in "Mario Kart"

b. he had pizza for breakfast, slept through lunch, and will probably have that same pizza for dinner

c. he has a toy car collection that is "so rad"

d. he is working at Blockbuster while trying to "figure out what he wants out of life"...here's a hint...all he wants out of life are free rentals for the above mentioned Playstation

One last piece of cardinal information...

NEVER NEVER EVER date a guy who smells like fabric softener. He either....

a. is taken

b. lives at home with his mom

Neither one of these options is ideal for a relationship.

I know for every type I've come up with there will be a guy out there with some great rhetoric. But in all actuality we know that the only reason men were created is so that God could teach us patience...

It's a jungle out there...good luck.

Oh and if you happen to see any tall dark handsome types riding around on a big white horse...give them my address.