Tuesday, February 23, 2010

confessions of a 23 year old drama queen...

So it's confession time. There are a couple of things I do that are just a little on the creepy side. Not like Fatal Attraction creepy just...girly creepy (I cross my heart and hope to die there is a difference). One of these things started way back. Frankly it started when I was 6 and got my first bike, progressed when I was in junior high and had friends with older sisters and cars, and then really peaked in high school.
It was during this time that I had become a master at my art - the art of the "drive-by". This is an ancient and sacred ritual of the high school female, and today I shall enlighten you.

A drive-by is the act of driving (or biking...) by the house of any and all boys that you had a crush on. Often these boys did not know you existed. Especially for me and my friends; because our drive-by prey during this time period were all members of the football team and all Justin Timberlake gorgeous. Therefore, we loved them.

The purpose of the drive-by is two fold.
  1. Confirming the male specimen is in fact at home.
  2. Feel the aura of his presence by driving by his residence, resulting in giggles and shrieks.

There are several ways a drive-by can be successful, and there are several ways it can fail. Here are some key points:

  • Success is confirmation he is home, and therefore not at another girl's house. This is usually done by spotting his car in the driveway. Remember to giggle and yell, "He's home!"
  • Success is finishing the job unnoticed. This is key. Drive-by's are to be done in complete secrecy. If the male notices you, your friends, and your car; you have failed. Now you must quickly come up with an excuse of why you were driving by his house at 10:00pm at night while listening to sappy love music. Heaven forbid you just stop and talk to him and explain you were coming by to see what he was up to - that would be ridiculous. Best to just drive away really fast.
I was remembering this ritual a few weeks ago when I went on another drive by. I know I'm like way too old and mature to be doing this now so let's just call it...browsing. I was browsing through a certain neighborhood under the darkness of night and just making sure everything was going ok. At a certain house. At a certain house that a certain person I've been in love with like for forever lives at. This time I went with my friend Jess and we got kind of lost but we found it in the end. We laughed, we screamed, we laughed some more. It was so fun and made us feel like kids/spies. It was a blast.

As for the other creepy things I do well...those will have to wait for another day. One of them may or may not involve the fake "I'm taking a picture of my friends while really taking a picture of the hotties behind them".

In the meantime here are some great pictures from my old drive-by days...

all the people in the next few pictures were involved in drive-bys in one way or another. Don't ever let them tell you otherwise.


Jen said...

i'd like to point a few things out, thankyouverymuch...

first, great new format.
second, i do not recall ever being involved in a "drive by" unless you count driving past a certain 77's neighborhood, on our way too and from school, only because that was the way we drove to and from school.
third, lets never talk about my hoop earring days again. ever.
fourth, lets pick new outfits for our 10yr reunion... whatever we're wearing, not even elton john would throw props our way.
fifth, on second thought, lets just skip the reunion all together.

xo jen

Vanessa said...

ummm we totally did drive bys on 77 all the time don't even play.
and you only liked surfers otherwise we would have driven by their house too.
also no reunion sounds perfect for me.
we would be the coolest ones there though.
and don't even judge my outfit. i'm wearing a biker hat and some sort of bra strap around my neck. it was sexy. the glasses well...yeah.
and i like your hoop earrings.

Caren said...

I would like to point out that carpet was a beautiful 90's TEAL, definitely not green!

Laura and JR said...

I'm glad I was included in this post...HAHAHAH

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