I watch too much TV. This is always the most apparent when I find myself in a loop of one insane show to another and I realize I've just spent 3 hours of my time being totally mindless. So...to save you from my same fate I would like to share what you've missed this week in television.
First....Teen Mom 2 on MTV
What a filthy hot mess. Here is the run-down:
How horrible of a person would I be if I said that the Kailyn girl has the ugliest baby I've ever seen? And how horrible are you for agreeing with me?
Leah and Corey and their twin girls are adorable and awesome. Don't ever change!!!
Jenelle and her lip pierced boyfriend toking it up in the car....super classy. And a good way to show your speech-impediment Mom what a responsible adult you are.
Hey Jenelle...here are some of my favorite pictures of you and your Mom
The cops showed up for a domestic dispute so.....you know it's a good time.
Then there's always a sappy end montage....wow. That was fun.
Now onto American Idol
First of all....getting rid of Kara Dioihatedyousomuchi'msogladyou'regone or DioGuardi....was the BEST thing they ever did. The combo of her and Randy was just too much.
And replacing her with Jenny from the Block and Steven "bedroom eyes" Tyler....GENIUS!
Now...that being said. American idol kids you crafty jerks....seducing me and pulling me in by singing ALL my favorite songs. It's just not fair.
Beard guy....I love you. Don't ever change.
Country girl...you're the only girl I like.
Weird guy....I love you. Don't ever change.
Paul McDonald: Come Pick Me Up - Performances (click on that....just....watch him)
Then...we had another guy
"Ignition"...(it's the remix to ignition...hot 'n fresh out the kitchen...c'mon you know you're singing) aka...the best song R.Kelly ever sang....but NO..."I Believe I Can Fly"....BOORRRINNNGGG and SO typical. I believe you can fly....far far away (he does have an incredible voice however...so good job for that.)
Next girl is all..."I'm going to sing Michael Jackson" so I'm thinking "Dirty Diana" aka my favorite MJ song of all time. But NO...."Smile" which actually belongs to Charlie Chaplin....GET OFF THE STAGE!!!
Let's see what this next kid is going to deliver....it better be good.....
He reminded me of David Archuleta only less gay. Or maybe more. Either way...it hurt me.
Then the Latina girl gets up and sings a Selena song...way to break the stereotype.
Everyone shhhh.....my country boy lover is on next......
Then came nasty dredlocks girl....who says she's going to sing Rihanna (shocker).
Oh no....no....please Alah no....not Umbrella....
I really think she got her outfit from a dumpster like...for real. And now she's Rastafarian rapping.....STOP PLEASE NOW
If Randy says "yo" one more time...I'm gonna burn this mother down...yo.
Now Steven Tyler is seducing me with his eyes...and I like it.
Then teeny tiny Ryan Seacrest came on....vote..blah blah blah...I'm 4'2"...blah blah blah.
That was a hot mess. Speaking of hot messes....has anyone seen Paula Abdul lately?
I miss you.
Now I'm going to watch the new season of Real World and Jersey Shore....never before have I been so grateful that the herp cannot be transferred through television.
Until next time! Keep your remotes nearby and your HPV shots up to date.
And just for fun...here's a video of Steven Tyler molesting girls with his words.