The Bachelor: After The Final Rose

Here we go....I only watch After the Final Rose to see the cute happy couple be all cute and happy.

We always have to start with the loser first though.  Chantal comes out and she's still sad.  She cries (shocker).  Brad comes out and she asks Brad "when did you know it wasn't going to be me?"  Brad says "that's a tough one because I don't want to hurt you" Ah ha! That means he knew for a freaking long time.  He finally says "I knew very early on that I had feeling for Emily".  Boo ya!  She says that he's only saying that because he doesn't want to hurt Emily.  Chantal breaks down again and he says "I just fell in love with someone else".

Brad says he's very happy and then says to Chantal "I hear you're very happy too!" and she quickly dries it up and says that she is.  Ummm.....hey Chantal's new boyfriend....here's your sign.

That was gross.  She really just wanted Brad to say he loved her.  But he never did.  I was happy about that.

Then Brad talks about how him and Emily broke up but then got back together (nooooo!!!!!) and how today was supposed to be their wedding day but they canceled (nooooooo!!!!!!)
Emily finally comes out and says that yes she still considers them to be engaged.  Brad sighs a huge sigh of relief....which is never a good sign.

Emily is going through the same transition that Brenda Walsh did from Seasons 1-2.  America's Sweetheart to Cold hearted and disconnected.  I don't like it at all.

(they do not look in love and happy)

They talk about how many big fights they've been in.....this is a disaster.  This doesn't make me happy at all.

Now they've brought back the only couples to ever make it....just so Chris Harrison can feel validated in his job I"m sure.
They all sit in front of Brad and Emily like the ghosts of Bachelor past to offer the couple advice.

Clearly the producers REALLY REALLY want this to work out because they've never done this before.  Maybe they should be talking to Brad's therapist.

SHUT UP JASON NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!

And the new Bachelorette is......

Ashley H.

WHAT THE EFF NOT THE DENTIST!!!!  NOOOOOO!!!!!

Michelle would have brought crazy, Shawntal would have brought sweet and kind of cute.  Ashley brings nothing except awful bangs.

I'm so disappointed.
Brad/Emly awkwardness, Jason's douchy face, Ashley as the new bachelorette, and no sign of Seal.

I'm boycotting.