Friday, March 4, 2011

Let's get this party started....

Let's talk about the Academy Awards.....
First of all....James Franco....was occasionally funny.  Anne Hathaway (when she wasn't trying so hard to be funny) was occasionally funny.  Together they were.....all right.  Can we all agree that next year Robert Downy Jr. and Jude Law host?  Yes? Yes!

Let's be honest though...the only reason I watched were for the dresses and to see if Natalie Portman's water would break in the middle of the show.  Since Natalie's fetus couldn't pull through for me...this post will just be about the dresses.  Let's get started....

Dear Halle Berry: That dress looks like a rabid cat took an interest in the bottom of it.  Nice try.  Next time try harder.  Sincerely- Vanessa

Cate Blanchett: I wanted to like this.  I really did.  The bottom was really pretty and so was the color.  The weird yellow beading threw me off.  So did the framed beading of her chest.  Note to Cate: you're just drawing attention to something (s) that aren't really there....

Jennifer Hudson: First of all....who invited you?  Second of all what is that color?  And third of all....what is going on with your boobs?

Hilary Skwank: She clearly thought she was nominated for Black Swan.  Guess what WEREN'T

Natalie Portman: This was pretty...I loved the color.  Best dress of hers this award season that is for sure.

Amy Adams: I thought this dress was beautiful and she looked beautiful in it.

Some couples showed up too.....

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter win best most odd yet wonderful couple in the whole world award.  Forever.

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz: They just kind of walked around being all Spanish and everything.  They looked pretty good.

Sometimes I'll see Hugh Jackman and be like "Oh how sweet he brought his Mom" and then I remember that's his wife.  And it infuriates me.

Some people allowed their husbands to stand in the background.....
Nicole Kidman: I am not a fan of floral embroidery, greasy looking hair, and unnecessary beading near the crotch.  To sum it up....this dress is fugly.

Hailee Steinfeld: I am a fan of being adorable.

Reese Witherspoon: You can do no wrong.  And I love the ponytail.

Melissa Leo: It looks like it's too big.  It also looks too ugly.  (Her acceptance speech was fantastic though)

Sharon Stone: Who invited you?  Was it Jennifer Hudson?  Your eyes are burning into my soul.  And you look old.

Some people wore red and I was less than  A bit unoriginal now don't you think?

Anne Hathaway

Jennifer Lawrence

Sandra Bullock

And for my favorites:
Gwyneth Paltrow: She is a goddess.  I love her and I loved this dress.

Mila Kunis: So so so so pretty. Plus she wore Lancome make up so....she gets extra points

Michelle Williams: Simple and pretty.  Just lovely.

I of course wore this.....

I know...a bit bold for me but Jake Gyllenhaal really liked it.  

See you next award season!


Caren said...

I agree with everything you said....EXCEPT: Gwyneth Paltrow's hair,SO boring and unflattering when your hair is so thin and Michelle Williams looks like she's naked under her dress, hated the color!

Jen said...

um you are always spot on with everything. i love it.

also, i love that you also loved mila sorvino's dress because so did i. FANTASTIC.

i wish we could have watched it together.

Jen said...

and by mila sorvino i obviously meant kunis. because i'm awesome

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