Thursday, January 12, 2012

Dear Justin Timberlake

Yes.  It's Thursday.  Yes.  It's supposed to be "Thursday Ten".  But instead....I'm writing a letter to Justin Timberlake.  This is important.

Dear Justin Timberlake,

Hey.  We need to talk.  I thought we had an agreement.  Oh you don't remember?  You're saying that you've just completely forgotten that night when I was 12?  Yeah.  That night when I was 12 and we made that agreement that I was the only person you would ever love and that we were going to marry each other.  You're telling me you just forgot that?
Ok fine....I'll give you a little bit of leeway because I was underage and you were a picture in a J-14 magazine but even that aside...I'm having some major problems with your engagement.
First of all the more you throw your "Justin-ness" in my face...the harder it's going to be for me to live in reality.  This is not fair.  What is "Justin-ness" might you ask?....Besides being a really awesome nickname for our's all the things that keep me from living my life and instead planning our wedding on Pinterest.  Here they are...
1.) Your face
Have you looked at your face?  Do you look at your face and just think " must have spent a little more time on ME" because that's pretty much what I think everytime I look at your face.  And the problem is the more I look at your face....the more I hate everyone else's.  Which in turn means that I will never be able to marry another because I'll just be all like "ugghhhh your face is not a Justin face!".  So stop.

2.) Your humor
I mean really?  REALLY?  No one can watch that skit and not laugh until they pee a little.  And it's not just's everything.  You are one of the funniest human beings to ever live.  So then it's like...."oh you're telling me a joke?  Well Justin would tell a funnier joke". Ya know?

3.) Your talent

There's nothing more to see here.

4.)  Bedroom Eyes
Everyone looking at that is now pregnant.

5.) You love your Mom
There is really nothing more to say about that.  YOU LOVE YOUR MOM.
(let's pretend I did not Google "Justin Timberlake's Mom ok?)


What was that?  After watching that I'm fully convinced you planned that whole thing.  You make me people fall in love with you! Young girls, old men at the corner store...heck look at Barbara Walters!  She's about to bring sexy back!  You can see it all in her's incredibly disturbing and yet...can you blame her?

I know I should be the bigger person and congratulate you with a better fake smile than anyone on any "Real Housewives"  BUT I'm not going to....

Also...let me just remind you of something.  Remember this?

That is when I fell in love with you.  During that.  What was your "fiance" doing at that time?

I'm just sayin.

Love Always,

1 comment:

R.Dee said...


I feel the same way..except we never made a vow of marriage via a magazine so I guess he really is yours first.

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