I've learned many things from being the oldest in the family. Especially from having a sibling who could technically be my child (if I were on an MTV show). One thing I have most definitely learned from spending so much time watching, bathing, tucking into bed etc of my little brother is...I will make one horribly sarcastic mother.
I can already hear myself using the line "Oh really? And if so and so decided to jump off a bridge and let his brains splatter all over the concrete would you do that too?"
And my kids would be like "Woah Mom not only are you grossing us out but your use of sarcasm is really going to be detrimental to our future emotional well being".
And then I'd say "Well go find a Mom who cares".
My kids are going to be awesome.
And for this real life conversation I had with my brother:
Bub: "Well I want to go to only 3 classes"
Me: "Well do you know what I want? I want money to rain from the sky but that's not going to happen"
Honestly even my impromptu puppet shows I put on for my brother include some sort of stuffed animal with borderline personality disorder. We have the sock monkey Lucy who has a severe superiority complex which really plays a role in her relationship with her sock monkey boyfriend Iggy who has an inferiority complex because his parents emphasized all of the shortcomings and mistakes he made before the age of six (which obviously results in him repeating this pattern in his romantic relationships to try to gain acceptance). We also have Rex who has body dysmorphic disorder which stemmed from the fact that he had an abnormal amount of orange fur covering his entire body (which was greatly looked down upon by the rest of the Dr. Suess community). And of course George the bear who has stitches in his neck after a gang fight went bad.
And Harold. The monkey. Who (I'm sad to say) suffers from not only schizophrenia but also OCD, ADHD, and Swine Flu (it's been a rough year for him)
To Bub in the future: I am terribly sorry and yes I will be more than happy to pay for your therapy.
1 comment:
first, how did i miss that post where you used barbies to emphasize your comments?!
secondly, your puppet show sounds like life unexpected except minus the angsty teen the two conceived during winter formal and then gave up for adoption. i think this is your final notice that you need to watch that show. obviously you'll love it.
xo
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