Life is a Highway

and if that highway includes cat fights, high pitched voices, mascara, hairspray, screaming, raccoons, s'mores, wine, tears, pink luggage (monkey baby I'm talking to you here...), and roses...
you might be on a road trip with the bachelorettes.

Sound like a good time?

If you answered yes please stop reading this and seek help. Now.

Week 4 and seriously it feels like this show has been going on a lot longer doesn't it?
I will say there was a whole lot less sociopathic behavior (aka entertainment) now that Michelle is gone to what we all hope is a highly specialized mental facility.
But it was still good because now we are getting down to it. Girls are starting to stand out and Jake is making some important cuts.
We start out this episode with 9 girls in an RV headed up the California coast (with Jake faithfully leading the way on his motorcycle of course).

Gia gets the individual date...
They went to a vineyard for some wine tasting and then went back to Jake's campsite for some hot dogs and smores. I loved when Jake said
"We're doing it low key and one might expect steaks or something but we're having hot dogs and I really want to see how Gia handles that"
It reminded me of last week when he made Vienna jump off a bridge for her rose. I half expected Jake to make Gia walk through the bonfire flames for hers.
But he didn't.
They ended up having a great time and guess what? Gia wants to adopt a Chinese baby! In case you were wondering...
she got her rose.
She's ok but I think she is not really ready to get married and there is still something really superficial and materialistic about her.


Group date was next with: Ashleigh, Tenley, Vienna, Corrie, Ali, and another random brunette (apparently her name was Jessie? Pretty sure I gave her the best slurred speech the first night award so...yeah).
They went doonbuggy-ing (which is of course a word) and apparently had fun.

I think Jake really really likes Tenley which makes me a little nervous because I'm not sure she is emotionally prepared for another relationship. She cries EVERY time she talks about her ex and this is her first dating experience since her divorce??? That doesn't seem right. Plus she talks in a baby voice and pretty sure she has a thing for princess dresses, tiaras, and princess figurines from the Disney store. Doesn't she seem that type to you?



I still love Ali. Enough said about that.

Jake had a momentary lifting of the fog while talking to Vienna. He kind of called her out on getting caught up in drama with the other girls and told her that she seems to act totally different with him than with the girls. And said there were some red flags...
I'm really going to highlight that for you so that when your jaw drops to the ground at the end of this you will read back and remember why...

Ok so then there was another date card that read...
"Two girls one rose
One stays, one goes"
xoxo
Chris Harrison

And the 2 lucky girls were monkey baby and Kathryn.
They had an ok time but in the end Jake sent them BOTH home.

The scene goes to Jake dramatically burning the rose he was supposed to give to one of the girls while sinister music played.
I love reality tv.

So for those mathematicians out there he is now down to 7 girls.

At the rose ceremony he was supposed to hand out 4 roses.
Gia already had one
and he gave another one to Tenley
He gives one to Ali


He gives one to Corrie

and then tells Chris Harrison he only wants to give out 1 more instead of 2.
And the final rose went to....

Vienna
WHAT??? Yeah I know...I have no idea why either. Didn't he watch the season when he was on "The Bachelorette" and everyone was warning Jillian about Wes (him included) and she kept him around?
Um hello Jake? Meet female Wes. Her name is Vienna.


Ashleigh


and obscure brunette #2 went home but judging by this girls outfit in her photo I would have sent her home the first week.

It will be interesting to see how next week pans out.

I did want to share an observation I had last night. So you know how when you watch sports all the ads are for like Viagra, Levitra, Cialis, etc...and like...oil changes?
All the ads during the Bachelor were for waterproof mascara and anti-depressants.
Coincidence?
I think not.

Well that's it for this week. Any thoughts???

And if you were doing your math
9 women-1 normal girl-1 monkey baby-1 cute blonde-1 camouflage brunette= 5 left