Blonder hair, flat chest
TV says "Bigger is better"
South Beach, sugar free
Vogue says "thinner is better"
Perfection is a disease of a nation
We're trying to fix something but you can't fix what you can't see
it's the soul that needs the surgery
The immortal words of Ms. Beyonce Knowles Carter.
I've been thinking a lot recently about beauty. Maybe it's because I work in the "beauty industry". Maybe it's because growing up, I hated the way I looked. I always wished something about myself was different.
Working in skin care and make up I meet all kinds of women on all different walks of life. When I meet someone who is looking to purchase something I usually ask a lot of questions "what concerns do you have?" "what type of foundation are you looking for?" "what colors do you want to try on?"
The answers sound like this:
"I just want to look younger"
"I hate these wrinkles around my eyes"
"I just don't want to be ugly"
"Anything to hide this disgusting dark spot"
"I wish some of the fat around my thighs could be transferred to my face to make it look young and full again"
"I hate my _________"
It's so sad to me that women talk this way about themselves. Especially because I doubt men do this. I know men have body insecurities but I really don't think in the same way women do. We have high standards for ourselves. Completely unrealistic standards for ourselves. I was teased about the way I looked starting in elementary school....and the words of others when you're 9-10 years old really play a role in how you feel about yourself. I went through all of jr. high and high school hating the way I looked. I wished I was blonder, thinner, had straighter teeth, better hair, better skin, better everything. I was never good enough.
I missed out on so many opportunities because I never felt good enough. When I was about 20 years old I had a friend who just loved everything about me. She thought I was so cool and was amazed at the stupid little talents I had. I finally started to feel like...."hey....I'm kind of cool"....it still took me awhile to be ok with the way I looked and there's still days when I feel like I look like a potato (at least my Instagram selfie game is hella on point)
(working those glasses)
(dreaming I was Britney Spears)
I just wish women would stand together and say " I don't care what the media tells me is beauty.....I have dark circles, my hair is a mess, and I'm not a size 4 and I'm HOT". We can't really totally blame the media for this focus on perfection. We are the ones who give it power. We give it power every time we criticize ourselves. Every time we criticize another woman.
I by no means am saying that those with seemingly "perfect" features shouldn't flaunt what they have.....because they totally should....but so should people without seemingly "perfect" features because there is no such thing as perfection.
I obviously love skin care and make up. That will never change. And yes a lot of products I use to help me with a certain concern I have about myself. But also....red lipstick just makes me feel good!
(pretending I've got it all figured out now)
Just love yourselves, love others, and the world will love you back.
Now I'm going to go do what I love and that is binge watching "Teen Wolf" like the beautiful adult I am.