New Challenge Day 2

A photo of something you ate today

My mom made the mistake of buying a huge bucket of Bob's Sweet Stripes Soft Peppermints.  If you've never had these....for shame!  They are amazing.  It's like....Christmas in your mouth.  I had about a thousand a few today.

New Challenge Day 1

A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was

This photo pretty much describes me- and the first words that come to your mind are sure to be "wildly attractive"...yes...I know.

My day was fine.  I didn't do much.  Mondays are my laziest day because I'm still recuperating from the whole weekend at work. So I sleep in, I don't do my hair/make up, and I just watch TV.  It's so nice to have one of those days where you don't really have to worry about anything. 

And that's that!

30 Day Challenge- From Morgan

 So...I kind of hard core failed at my last challenge however...I WILL be successful with this one!  I got it from my amazing friend Morgan.  She's so awesome so....here we go!

30 Day Blog Challenge:

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past.

Lessons learned this weekend

1. My Colts horseshoe silly band (that I left at work accidently) is lucky.  My football player shaped silly band (that I was using for a substitute) is not.

Let's do some math shall we?  Pay attention...

2. These are the best candies ever made

3. I much prefer not wearing make up and not doing my hair

4. I like my work friends better than any people on the planet

5. I could watch this kids videos on YouTube....all day

6. Everytime I think I'm over my fear of the child catcher....it comes back to haunt me
(you can read more about that {here}

7. Now that my sister is gone I have NO ONE to go see the new Harry Potter movie with!!!! If this issue is not resolved promptly I may need to be checked into a facility.

because we all know how I feel about Harry....

8. I should start blogging about actual things instead of useless things (like our family vacation from August, my next encounter with Tyler Hilton, and my birthday...)

Oh hey there

Were you just hanging out and wondering who the creepiest red-headed kid to ever live is?

It's her

 I would not want to meet her in a dark alley.  You would be all...

"Annie please, spare my life!"

And she would be all

And then she'd say

"Looks like the sun is not coming out tomorrow"

And you'd be dead.

That's all.

As a side note: On the list of people I would want to meet in a dark alley....

him.

You're Welcome.

Dear Peyton Manning (with a note to Tom Brady)

Dear Peyton Manning,

Congratulations on being ranked #8 in the NFL's Top 100 Greatest Players!  I like to think I played a hand in this.

xoxo,
Vanessa

Dear Princess Tom Brady,

You didn't even make Top 20.  Ha ha.

Sincerely,
Vanessa

things i've learned from watching Criminal Minds

1. If you go into your bathroom alone at night....you will be murdered by a serial killer.
2. If all of a sudden your power goes out....you will be murdered by a serial killer.
3. If you are folding laundry in your room and you have your headphones in....you will be murdered by a serial killer.
4. If you are doing aerobics in the afternoon....you will be murdered by a serial killer.
5. If you are watching TV in the evening....you will be murdered  by a serial killer.
6. If someone comes to your door at night claiming they ran over a kitten and they need to use your phone but you all of a sudden can't turn on your porch light....you will be murdered by a serial killer.
7. Everyone is a suspect, from little children to old men....no one is off limits- they are all serial killers.
8. Don't give strangers a ride home...they are serial killers.
9. If sometimes your Dad disappears for long periods of time and your next door neighbor is a weird white guy who wears glasses.....they are both serial killers.
10. Don't eat chili at any kind of church function.  It probably has pieces of human flesh in it.  Because the guy who made it...yeah....he's a serial killer (and a cannibal).
11.  Homeless people and prostitutes are the first to go....they are killed....by serial killers.
12.  Hot guys are most likely serial killers
13. If your dog dies suddenly (along with other animals in the neighborhood) congratulations....your kid is a serial killer.
14. Stay away from pig farms in Canada...there are 2 brothers who live there....they are serial killers.
15. Remember Pony Boy Curtis from the Outsiders?  Yep...he's a serial killer.
16.. Hot black guys are not serial killers
17. Geeky white guys are all serial killers


Other Lessons:
- If Agent Hotchner is wearing a light blue shirt....they are about to solve the crime

-Jason Alexander is the creepiest human being to ever live on the face of the earth

-Agent Rossi is the most sarcastic human being to ever live on the face of the earth

- This guy...

should always be shirtless

It all boils down to this: never trust anyone....ever.

If you want to see an amazing clip about why FBI profilers are so awesome and why I call Agent Hotchner...Agent "HOT"chner....watch this

to get you through the rest of the week

1. Rihanna feat. Eminem- Love The Way You Lie Part II
2. Bon Iver- Beach Baby
3. Coldplay- The Hardest Part
4. Scissor Sisters- I Don't Feel Like Dancing
5. The Shaky Hands- Wake The Breathing Light
6. Ingrid Michaelson- Parachute
7. Matt Nathanson- All We Are
8. Taken By Trees- Sweet Child O' Mine
9. Vega4- The Caterpillar Song
10. Pricilla Ahn- Dream
11. Jeff Buckley- Hallelujah
12. Noah and the Whale- 5 Years Time
13. Phantom Planet- Hey Now Girl

Dear Peyton Manning

This is a segment I like to call Dear Peyton Manning where I will write a letter addressed to the greatest QB in the NFL as well as my favorite player of all time.

Dear Peyton Manning,

I would be much more attracted to you if you didn't talk like a Grandpa who is missing his dentures.

xoxo,
Vanessa

mine? mine? mine? mine?

I'm literally drooling right now.  I need this in my life like....yesterday.


And if the title of this post confused you- just watch {here}

Still waiting...

To find him in a box on my doorstep.

Someone out there must have sent him to me for my birthday right?  Right?

*if you need more (which I mean....why wouldn't you) go ahead and just click {here}...shhhh...don't ask questions...just do it.

Oh hey there!

Were you just sitting around wondering what my favorite Michael Jackson song is? Oh well it's this one...




Mystery solved.

Dear Tom Brady

Dear Tom Brady,

I don't really think there is anything else to say.

Sincerely,
Vanessa

Tim Burton is a genius

My favorite short film of all time...and very Halloweeny....



Edgar Allen Poe, Vincent Price AND Tim Burton? Amazing.

and just like that

I turned 24.

Today is October 25th. There are 67 days left in the year. Others born this day (many!) Bobby Knight, Marion Ross, Minnie Pearl, Pablo Picasso.....(my twin Brigham- who was born 8 hours before me) George III was crowned King of Great Britain on this day in 1760....

I've received gifts all year in the form of a great job with people I love doing something I love, amazing friends and family.

I am blessed. So cheers to 24! At least I'm still closer to 20 than I am to 30 :)

Dear Tom Brady

Dear Tom Brady,

I may or may not have hired Tonya Harding to take care of a little problem (like your knee) for me.

Sincerely,
Vanessa

P.S. You still look like a douche.

My Silly Band Infatuation

It all started with this:

Yes. That's a dog. A purple dog. A purple dog bracelet. A silly band if you will. A bracelet that is a shape that you wear on your wrist. Then when you pull it off....it retains it's shape. Yeah you heard me. Retains.
Silly bands come in all shapes and sizes and no matter what your interests are...there is a silly band for you.

You a sports fan?

Baseball silly bandz in your face!

You environmentally aware?

Save the gulf silly bandz in your face!

You a fan of pop music and Christmas elf-like hair?

Justin Bieber silly bandz in your face!

You a fan of the alphabet? Who isn't right!?

Alphabet silly bandz in your face!


So see. You love them too.
The end.

Oh Hey There

So while you're sitting around your house/apartment/work area/igloo/mud hut
just reflecting on life and wondering what to get me for my birthday (*cough* which is in 4 days *cough, cough*)
May I suggest these....

That is all.

(coming up: a deeper insight into my odd and deep love for silly bandz bracelets)

In Case of Emergency

Today started out just like your average day. I woke up around 1 pretty early. I checked my messages on my phone. I laughed at a voicemail my friend Jen left me. I got up and showered and put off shaving my legs for the 3rd day in a row- hey when it's meant to happen it will. I was feeling a bit hungry so I decided to make myself a delicious quesadilla (which is apparently not a word recognized by my computer's spell check).
I was going about gathering ingredients just minding my own business. All of a sudden I slipped on something wet and fell to the floor. All the way down. I was feeling uncomfortable not only because I had just almost fallen to my death (I am 5' 11"...that's a long way down) but because I didn't remember that wet puddle being there before. And then I saw my dog. And when I put the paper towel down on the ground to clean up....yep you guessed it...the puddle was in fact a certain shade of yellow.
I had slipped directly into a puddle of dog pee.
After that I didn't even want a quesadilla anymore.....I just wanted to cry (and take another shower where I once again didn't shave my legs).
What is the saddest part of this story is that this is the THIRD time in the last 2 months that I've completely fallen to the ground.
1. Man hole in the middle of the sidewalk in Salt Lake City
2. Foot caught in pants
3. Urine incident
After relating this story to a number of people it was determined by one that I should get one of those emergency alert buttons for senior citizens. That way if this ever happens to me again while I'm alone- the proper authorities can be called. And let's face it....with the winter months coming up and socks being worn on the wood floors.....it's only a matter of time.

Side note: This device could often come in handy when I run out of diet coke. I feel this to be as equally an emergency situation.

A difficult task

I generally really like living in my parent's basement alone.  And by alone I mean not married.

No one to have to double check plans with.  No one to steal my covers or ruin my perfectly planned sleep habits (start on left side, switch to right, arm under pillow, left leg out from under sheets....repeat as needed).  No one to share my paycheck with.

But I have to say if there was one time it would help to have an extra person around it would be when I'm trying to fit a very large comforter into a duvet cover.  It's probably the hardest task known to man-kind.  All times I have done this in my life I or the comforter wanted to call it quits.  There was some yelling and pouting and  harsh words exchanged, and that was just the comforter.  But we always put aside our differences and the bed ends up a warmer place as a result.

In other news, on a scale of 1 to 10 of how much I need this  (1 being probably and 10 being, darn, that's what I got you for your birthday) what would you say?

(via Anthropologie)

And also if we're being honest, while you're there, I might need this

and this

Catalog Living

Have you been introduced to this website yet? 

Elaine was thrilled to finally have a classy way to enjoy the occasional swig of olive oil in public.

Employing their allergen-free guard dog, Gary and Elaine just have to hope any potential burglar will glance down before breaking in.

At 10:30 every morning, when Gary’s rolled up all his beige paper and put away his giant compasses, he takes a moment for himself to sit in his favorite chair and do a quick “Mork calling Orson” monologue.

Gary and Elaine are having a hard time adjusting to their new vegetarian lifestyle, partially because their dinner consists of a bowl of lettuce and two tomatoes, but more so because their plates offer a constant reminder of what they’re missing.

With Elaine out of town, Gary couldn’t even enjoy his favorite dinner of brie and tree branch.

On a cold winter night, nothing pleases Gary and Elaine more than snuggling up in their comfy metal chairs and tossing around the decorative polyhedron.

Intimidated by the size of the book on the table, Gary decided to keep it light and just read the pillows instead.

Upon entering the living room, guests are often torn as to whether Gary and Elaine deeply love America or are Russian spies.


you're welcome

A Brief Interlude with Jen

Once again...some of my favorite conversations ever are the ones I have with my friend Jenny.  Jen makes me laugh like almost no one else can.  I mean really.  She's so funny and we are way funnier together than we are on our own. We do have occasional Facebook chats....and we cover a variety of topics.

About my dog's name

About the Indonesian baby smoker

About what her son would look like as an Indonesian baby smoker

About a TV show that she allegedly watches (although I'm not fully convinced it actually exists)

About babysitting

I miss you Jen.