In Case of Emergency

Today started out just like your average day. I woke up around 1 pretty early. I checked my messages on my phone. I laughed at a voicemail my friend Jen left me. I got up and showered and put off shaving my legs for the 3rd day in a row- hey when it's meant to happen it will. I was feeling a bit hungry so I decided to make myself a delicious quesadilla (which is apparently not a word recognized by my computer's spell check).
I was going about gathering ingredients just minding my own business. All of a sudden I slipped on something wet and fell to the floor. All the way down. I was feeling uncomfortable not only because I had just almost fallen to my death (I am 5' 11"...that's a long way down) but because I didn't remember that wet puddle being there before. And then I saw my dog. And when I put the paper towel down on the ground to clean up....yep you guessed it...the puddle was in fact a certain shade of yellow.
I had slipped directly into a puddle of dog pee.
After that I didn't even want a quesadilla anymore.....I just wanted to cry (and take another shower where I once again didn't shave my legs).
What is the saddest part of this story is that this is the THIRD time in the last 2 months that I've completely fallen to the ground.
1. Man hole in the middle of the sidewalk in Salt Lake City
2. Foot caught in pants
3. Urine incident
After relating this story to a number of people it was determined by one that I should get one of those emergency alert buttons for senior citizens. That way if this ever happens to me again while I'm alone- the proper authorities can be called. And let's face it....with the winter months coming up and socks being worn on the wood floors.....it's only a matter of time.

Side note: This device could often come in handy when I run out of diet coke. I feel this to be as equally an emergency situation.