Dear Peyton Manning,
My life would never have been complete without you. I look forward to our relationship getting back to where it's supposed to be this fall.
Dear Lancome Gift With Purchase Pre-Sale,
Dear Shark Week,
You are the best week. Something I've learned so far is that sometimes when a shark bites someone he didn't mean any harm. He was just doing an "exploratory bite". So since you put it that way...no big deal.
Tell that to the guy with the prosthetic leg though.
Dear new guy at work,
You are very adorable. You have the eyes of an angel and the arms of a god. I firmly believe we should fall in love.
Think about it,
Dear people of Utah,
The 4th of July was about a month ago. Fireworks are no longer necessary. Especially after the hour of 11 pm.
Stop being douchetools,
Dear Jersey Shore,
Thank you for bringing guidos, hair gel, spray tans, and veneral diseases back into my life. It was seriously lacking.
Cabs are here!
Have a GREAT weekend.