Sunday, October 31, 2010

Tim Burton is a genius

My favorite short film of all time...and very Halloweeny....



Edgar Allen Poe, Vincent Price AND Tim Burton? Amazing.


Monday, October 25, 2010

and just like that



I turned 24.

Today is October 25th. There are 67 days left in the year. Others born this day (many!) Bobby Knight, Marion Ross, Minnie Pearl, Pablo Picasso.....(my twin Brigham- who was born 8 hours before me) George III was crowned King of Great Britain on this day in 1760....

I've received gifts all year in the form of a great job with people I love doing something I love, amazing friends and family.

I am blessed. So cheers to 24! At least I'm still closer to 20 than I am to 30 :)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Dear Tom Brady

Dear Tom Brady,

I may or may not have hired Tonya Harding to take care of a little problem (like your knee) for me.

Sincerely,
Vanessa

P.S. You still look like a douche.



My Silly Band Infatuation

It all started with this:




Yes. That's a dog. A purple dog. A purple dog bracelet. A silly band if you will. A bracelet that is a shape that you wear on your wrist. Then when you pull it off....it retains it's shape. Yeah you heard me. Retains.
Silly bands come in all shapes and sizes and no matter what your interests are...there is a silly band for you.

You a sports fan?



Baseball silly bandz in your face!

You environmentally aware?




Save the gulf silly bandz in your face!

You a fan of pop music and Christmas elf-like hair?




Justin Bieber silly bandz in your face!

You a fan of the alphabet? Who isn't right!?




Alphabet silly bandz in your face!


So see. You love them too.
The end.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Oh Hey There

So while you're sitting around your house/apartment/work area/igloo/mud hut
just reflecting on life and wondering what to get me for my birthday (*cough* which is in 4 days *cough, cough*)
May I suggest these....






That is all.

(coming up: a deeper insight into my odd and deep love for silly bandz bracelets)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

In Case of Emergency

Today started out just like your average day. I woke up around 1 pretty early. I checked my messages on my phone. I laughed at a voicemail my friend Jen left me. I got up and showered and put off shaving my legs for the 3rd day in a row- hey when it's meant to happen it will. I was feeling a bit hungry so I decided to make myself a delicious quesadilla (which is apparently not a word recognized by my computer's spell check).
I was going about gathering ingredients just minding my own business. All of a sudden I slipped on something wet and fell to the floor. All the way down. I was feeling uncomfortable not only because I had just almost fallen to my death (I am 5' 11"...that's a long way down) but because I didn't remember that wet puddle being there before. And then I saw my dog. And when I put the paper towel down on the ground to clean up....yep you guessed it...the puddle was in fact a certain shade of yellow.
I had slipped directly into a puddle of dog pee.
After that I didn't even want a quesadilla anymore.....I just wanted to cry (and take another shower where I once again didn't shave my legs).
What is the saddest part of this story is that this is the THIRD time in the last 2 months that I've completely fallen to the ground.
1. Man hole in the middle of the sidewalk in Salt Lake City
2. Foot caught in pants
3. Urine incident
After relating this story to a number of people it was determined by one that I should get one of those emergency alert buttons for senior citizens. That way if this ever happens to me again while I'm alone- the proper authorities can be called. And let's face it....with the winter months coming up and socks being worn on the wood floors.....it's only a matter of time.

Side note: This device could often come in handy when I run out of diet coke. I feel this to be as equally an emergency situation.

A difficult task

I generally really like living in my parent's basement alone.  And by alone I mean not married.

No one to have to double check plans with.  No one to steal my covers or ruin my perfectly planned sleep habits (start on left side, switch to right, arm under pillow, left leg out from under sheets....repeat as needed).  No one to share my paycheck with.

But I have to say if there was one time it would help to have an extra person around it would be when I'm trying to fit a very large comforter into a duvet cover.  It's probably the hardest task known to man-kind.  All times I have done this in my life I or the comforter wanted to call it quits.  There was some yelling and pouting and  harsh words exchanged, and that was just the comforter.  But we always put aside our differences and the bed ends up a warmer place as a result.

In other news, on a scale of 1 to 10 of how much I need this  (1 being probably and 10 being, darn, that's what I got you for your birthday) what would you say?


And also if we're being honest, while you're there, I might need this

and this

Catalog Living

Have you been introduced to this website yet? 


Elaine was thrilled to finally have a classy way to enjoy the occasional swig of olive oil in public.



Employing their allergen-free guard dog, Gary and Elaine just have to hope any potential burglar will glance down before breaking in.


At 10:30 every morning, when Gary’s rolled up all his beige paper and put away his giant compasses, he takes a moment for himself to sit in his favorite chair and do a quick “Mork calling Orson” monologue.


Gary and Elaine are having a hard time adjusting to their new vegetarian lifestyle, partially because their dinner consists of a bowl of lettuce and two tomatoes, but more so because their plates offer a constant reminder of what they’re missing.


With Elaine out of town, Gary couldn’t even enjoy his favorite dinner of brie and tree branch.


On a cold winter night, nothing pleases Gary and Elaine more than snuggling up in their comfy metal chairs and tossing around the decorative polyhedron.


Intimidated by the size of the book on the table, Gary decided to keep it light and just read the pillows instead.


Upon entering the living room, guests are often torn as to whether Gary and Elaine deeply love America or are Russian spies.


you're welcome

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A Brief Interlude with Jen

Once again...some of my favorite conversations ever are the ones I have with my friend Jenny.  Jen makes me laugh like almost no one else can.  I mean really.  She's so funny and we are way funnier together than we are on our own. We do have occasional Facebook chats....and we cover a variety of topics.

About my dog's name




About what her son would look like as an Indonesian baby smoker


About a TV show that she allegedly watches (although I'm not fully convinced it actually exists)

About babysitting

I miss you Jen.

Challenge Day 6

I know I'm a day late and a dollar short for this one....I've just been busy!

What are 20 of your favorite things?

I was going to be really witty and just list all those things in that Julie Andrews song but.....I'm tired and being witty exhausts me.  So here are 20 of my actual favorite things.

1. Christmas trees


2. Craisins


3. Rain


4. my funny friends

5.Zack Morris


6. cupcakes


7. slippers


8. sweaters


9. music

10. watermelon


11. q-tips


12. calendars


13. tv

14. diet coke


15. fresh mozzarella cheese


16. football

17.this and this
and this

18. miniature sized animals


19. my brother (and rest of my family)

20. flowers


Happy Sweet 16th Birthday Ginger!

It's my little sister Mackenzie's

16th 

birthday today!
I seriously can't even believe that she is 16!  It's so crazy!  It's been weird with just us here since Calah moved to Seattle but it's been fun too.  I realize more and more how alike we are and how when there isn't someone like Calah to buffer us....we can really be too much for each other.  I'm glad to have her though and I have so much fun with her!  I'm glad that as we've both gotten older we've been able to grow closer together.  I'm so proud of her and how talented she is and the passion she has for acting.  So excited to see all the amazing things she'll accomplish in her life.  Even though she already has accomplished a lot.

One time she fell asleep in a really awkward position with our cat


One time she held her mouth open really wide


One time she made a really amazing face in a picture at a restaurant


And a whole bunch of times she's been incredibly talented with her acting.  This was just the most recent time when she performed her monologue at the Shakespeare Festival (for the second year in a row)



HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENZ!  
Hope it's the BEST!


*And if you don't know by now why we call my sister Ginger please refer to the following blog posts....

NyQuil and Cats

Last week I had a cold.  I couldn't sleep.  Took NyQuil.  Dreamt about cats.  All night.  Just cats. 

No more NyQuil.

And yes I've said this before.

And just because every post needs a picture here is a picture of some cats on a couch in some jaunty festive outfits


And the effects of NyQuil (I think these may be listed on the back of the bottle)

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