Sunday, March 9, 2014

Let's Chat

So normally I do my weekend collage but due to the events of the weekend....I'm just not feeling up to I'm going to do more of a chatty little post if you don't mind.  We're all friends here so I know you won't.
This weekend was a strange one.  I'll spare you the details but we had a bit of a family emergency and then I ended up fighting off a major migraine and just wrapped the weekend up with a panic attack.  Delightful right?
I haven't had a panic attack in quite some time so this one totally took me by surprise....well most panic attacks take me by surprise. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe and I was crying for no reason. That's just one of the many reasons why a panic attack is the queen of all mean girls.  She teases you, hurts you, makes you feel like you will never feel okay again and her timing is a bitch!  Tonight it happened right as I was about to go hang out with some friends.  I hate when that happens.  One of the reasons why is that when it happens like that, all of your friends who don't understand just chalk it up to you being "anti social" or "boring".  That's not it at all.  I wanted to be social.  I wanted to have fun.  Unfortunately I was a little busy remembering how to breathe.  You can't just tell people that either because they think you're seeking attention or being dramatic.
I'm quite an extroverted person....I just happen to be an extrovert with severe social anxiety.  And I don't know how to explain that to my friends or how to explain it to anyone really.  So I just pretend I'm tired and hope that no one thinks I'm lame.  I found this quote on the internet and while it's a little dramatic it's the closest I've ever found in explaining how this anxiety or how a panic attack feels

I don't suffer so much from the depression side of it although I know a lot of people do.  It's hard.  All of it is hard.  We're all just trying our best and we want to feel "normal".  So be kind to each other out there because you have no idea what anyone else is going through or why they do the things they do.
Other than all of that my weekend was great ;)
Tell me your happy weekend stories....or not so happy.  I don't mind listening to either.  

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