Thursday, September 16, 2010

The real Disney

Last night I was falling asleep to a movie and they had a preview for the movie 101 Dalmatians...the people version (yes the one that came out in 1994, yes this was a VHS I was watching...yes we still own a VHS player)

And the announcer says "and the most evil villain ever"...about Cruella De Vil....and I thought.....there is no way SHE is the most evil Disney villain ever.  No way. She just wanted a nice fur coat to keep her warm! What's so wrong with that?  I can think of about a thousand villains who were WAY worse.

1.) Evil Step-Mother- Cinderella


What kind of a deranged woman who is supposed to love and take care of you.....lets her ugly daughters rip your beautiful dress off?  Terrible.  Just terrible.

2.) Scar- The Lion King


He KILLED HIS OWN BROTHER and then blamed his nephew.....what a jerk.

3.) Gaston- Beauty and the Beast


What a narcissistic douche.....plus he ate raw eggs....who does that?

4.) The evil witch lady- Sleeping Beauty


She was able to transform herself into a fire-breathing dragon! I never saw Cruella do that.....just sayin.


5.) Hades- Hercules


Oh I'm sorry....isn't he the ruler of the UNDER WORLD??  As in hell?  Whoever RULES HELL should definitely get top billing in the villain department.

6.) Ursula- The Little Mermaid


Sister was messed up. She was all crazy and had a million legs and tried to kill Prince Eric and transformed herself into someone beautiful (named Vanessa.....by the way) and used live creatures for her lipstick.....what a freak (and if you aren't born a Vanessa....don't try to be one....it just won't work for you)

7.)  Shan Yu and the Huns- Mulan


They were single handedly trying to RUIN CHINA  an entire country people!  THEN they sneak into a dragon costume DURING A CELEBRATION to attack the city.  Way to ruin a parade and the hopes and dreams of Chinese children everywhere you JERKS!

8.) Sid- Toy Story

Probably the worst of all.  He dissected toys and lit things on fire....can you say sociopath?  Little kids who are evil are so much worse than anything else who are evil....let's be real here.  I saw "Children of the Corn", "The Omen"....I watch "Criminal Minds"...I know what these creepy kids grow into.  Don't try to convince me of anything less.  Sid wins hands down.

There are some villains I sympathize with too....

Captain Hook

He was fashionable, a PIRATE, rocked a sweet mustache, and he only had one hand.  Give the guy a break.

Jafar


He made me laugh....plus the facial hair!  I mean c'mon!  It's amazing! 


I say focus on the truly evil ones and give the rest a break....they're just trying to live their life and drink their milk ok?

2 comments:

The Miranda's said...

You had me day dreaming of all my favorites! I'm on this high of buying disney movies for Eva because they really were the best and still are! Thanks for the morning laugh!

Laura and JR said...

agreed. Cruella is not the most evil... and its a VCR.

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