Late Night TV

So as you know I work night shift at the hospital. So even on nights when I am not working I usually try to keep my same schedule so that my body will be used to it. Sometimes this works and sometimes it fails miserably (like yesterday when I woke up at 7:30 pm and couldn't fall asleep again until 3pm the next day...). Luckily for me this schedule has left me plenty of room to enjoy my favorite late night activity....watching infomercials. In college my roommates and I would stay up all hours of the night and since we poor college kids only had basic cable (a travesty I know....) the only thing on after 1 am are infomercials. We would watch them all and sometimes we would call and order the free DVD's of weird ones and anonymously send them to each other....good times (it's Rexburg...we did what we could ok?). I LOVE infomercials. My personal favorite was always the "Magic Bullet" one and I saw it so many times I could actually quote it. I've been lusting a magical blender for years and my BFF Becky actually got me one for my 22nd birthday...it's wonderful! So these late nights have opened my eyes to a whole new world of products that I must have!!! Here are some recent ones I saw and my feelings about them...

1. The Cricut

Made by Provo Craft...oh you clever Mormons! My sister and I saw this one recently and I think it's genius. There was one lady who had seriously used the Cricut to design her whole house- like even tile. Can you imagine living in that home? All school projects done on the Cricut, dishes emblazoned with pictures produced by the Cricut- I would be more impressed if the Cricut actually made dinner for you. If I scrapbooked I would definitely want this but alas....the thought of scrapbooking gives me and headache and anxiety.

2. PedEgg
"Now you can make your feet feel smooth and healthy with NO MESS!
The PedEgg has over 100 precision micro-files that remove the calluses and dead skin from your feet, leaving you with silky smooth skin.
Best of all, the PedEgg is specially constructed to collect all of the shavings that usually wind up on the floor, allowing you to use Ped Egg virtually anywhere with NO MESS! "
I want one.

3. Mighty Mendit
Let me first of all say...Billy Mays could sell me anything he wanted to. I believe every word he says (or rather shouts...I mean seriously Billy- control the level of your voice a smidge). This product is NOT a glue but a flexible adhesive bonding agent. It actually works with the fibers in fabric to fix almost anything. I had my doubts until Billy fixed a ripped American flag and then stood in a wind machine to prove it wouldn't rip back open. Amazing Billy. You must be exausted with genius.


4. Bumpits (which looks like the word Bum Pits I know but it is actually "Bump-its")
These are used to bump up the volume of your hair by using plastic hair inserts that take your hair from flat to fabulous in seconds without using ANY styling products! You simply place the piece underneath your hair at the crown of your head and INSTANTLY transform your look. Girls in Utah must be rejoicing! No more teasing combs or hairspray ladies! Just pop one of these in and you can bump it up! Bump a pony or rock a bob! I would seriously try these just to see if they could also give me an attitude adjustment and I can be as happy as these ladies are...



5. Smooth Away
This product straight up creeps me out. This is a shaveless, creamless hair removal system- which is just not natural. Each smooth away pad is covered with superfine crystals that buff away unwanted hair leaving it smooth and soft. Which pretty much gives me the visual of taking sand paper and rubbing it all over my body....yuck. I like how in all these hair removal commercials everyone is struggling with other methods of removing hair. They are all getting the creams in their eyes and slashing themselves shaving just waiting for a product to some along where they don't have to put up with these "difficult" methods anymore. Seriously? The worst part about it is that it shows how BONUS guys can use it too and it shows this dude rubbing away his chest hair and at that point I pretty much wanted to throw up. No thank you Smooth Away I will stick to shaving and waxing like normal people.

6. Snuggies
We've all seen these commercials haven't we? It is like a cult. One that I desperately want to be a part of. I want a snuggie so bad! First of all they are so fashionable I would be the envy of everyone I know. Second of all- I would never have to be cold again! I was just thinking as I sit here typing this "Gee if I had a snuggie my arms wouldn't be so cold"...I wouldn't have to expose my arms to the harsh cold of our living room every time I wanted to change the channel on the TV, I could make dinner with my snuggie on! I could read to my grandchildren and make s'mores and go to football games and NEVER have to be cold. A blanket with sleeves...brilliant! Not to mention the fact they come in 3 fun and totally "now" colors. Buy now and you can get not one but TWO snuggies for just $19.95. Anyone want to go half-sies?





7. Sham-Wow
My life long goal is to get a sham wow. I literally say "Wow" every time I see this commercial. Everytime I hear "Hi it's Vince from Sham-Wow" I get chills and happily squirm a little in my seat. This is like a shammie, a sponge, a cloth all in one! Holds up to 12x's it's weight in liquids. And swimmers even use it to dry off! Which means if you use a Sham Wow you are basically Michael Phelps. I'll admit I might even have a little crush on Vince...him and his headset microphone. Beware of Sham Wow imitators though! These are made in Germany (you know those Germans always make good stuff). The Sham Wow you'll say Wow every time!




Now if only they could invent a snuggie that had a sham wow built into it so I wouldn't even have to be cold to clean up.
I'll work on it.