Indiana

I'm glad I never lived next to the water
So I could never get used to the beach
And I'm glad I never grew up on a mountain
To figure out how high the world could reach
I love the miles between me and the city
Where I quietly imagine every street
For some the world's a treasure to discover
And your scenery should never stay the same
And they're trading in their dreams for explanations
All in an attempt to entertain
I wonder how it feels to be famous
but wonder is as far as I will go
Because I'd probably lose myself in all the pictures
And end up being someone I don't know
So it's probably best I stay in Indiana
just dreaming of the world as it should be....

Jon McLaughlin: Indiana

I've been feeling majorly homesick for Indiana lately.  Maybe it's the way the seasons are changing and I'm missing the bonfires, the summer concerts, my friends, the fireflies. Watching the lighting on the front porch as a big summer storm rolls through...and then sitting, smelling the rain with no sound except for the cicadas and the breeze.  I'm not really sure what it is but I do know that Indiana will have a piece of my heart that nowhere else will ever have.  That place and the people there shaped me into who I am today.  And for that I will always be grateful.

On a less nostalgic and sad note....when I was googling pictures of Indiana....this popped up.

I'm not sure which is creepier.  The fact that this exists, or the fact that I saved it onto my computer.

• Creedence Clearwater Revival- Down On the Corner
• Mumford & Sons - White Blank Page
• Ray LaMontagne - Hannah
• Augustana - Where Love Went Wrong
• Owl City - Lonely Lullaby
• Justin Bieber - Baby (acoustic version) 
• The Civil Wars - I Want You Back
• The Black Keys - Too Afraid to Love You
• Kenny Chesney feat. Grace Potter - You and Tequila
• The Format - Tune Out
• Jon McLaughlin - Indiana
• Gavin DeGraw - Follow Through
• Jason Mraz - Details In the Fabric
• Florence + The Machine - I'm Not Calling You a Liar

i don't want to hear any comments on the Biebs.  i have the fever ok?  the beiber fever and i'm not ashamed.

just another tuesday with jon hamm

i'd like to switch it up a bit today.....so without further adieu....we interrupt your regularly scheduled blog viewing for this....

pictures of lions that look like jon hamm

i would like to touch intimately the person who came up with that.

you're welcome.

Top That!

This video will be the perfect start to your week.



Does anyone else remember this movie? (Jen...I'm talking to you here). It's called "Teen Witch" for those who aren't 80's teen movie savvy like myself. It was like...one of my favorites.
And would you think less of me if I admitted I had the smallest crush on that funky rapper?
Because I did.

Top That!

Make your week count. Obviously I'm already getting started on it.

Yes please

I don't know if you've ever seen Oprah's closet.  Sometimes I Google it and just stare for awhile.  

Besides watching "Pretty In Pink"...that's pretty much how I've spent my Sunday.

Sometimes I shock myself with how productive I am.

the previous post

my previous post is my entry to be a guest blogger on an awesome blog.....hopefully it's ok....I'm sending it out there!  :)

my journey...

So the challenge is to share a personal journey....

I thought for a long time about what I could possibly write about that anyone would even want to read. I guess I'm a "blogger"...at least I have a blog. My friends and family read it but they're kind of obligated to aren't they?
I love to write and as I was thinking about this opportunity I couldn't come up with anything to write about. I'm 24...I have a 9-5 job working for Lancome cosmetics, I love television, I have a dog, and I have a very unhealthy addiction to Diet Coke, but what do I really have to say?
I started jotting down ideas that looked something like this:

- the day I stopped wearing stirrup pants
- my life working in the cosmetic industry
- jon hamm

So yeah....it was looking bleak. And then I was telling a story to a co-worker about my times working at a hospital and the way it changed my life and all of a sudden I knew that's what I could write about. Death. Now before you roll your eyes and think "oh here we go"...death, while a morbid subject, is also one that is the most difficult to talk about but one that we will ALL have to talk about at one point or another. It is the one common thread that laces us all together. We will all lose someone we love. How do we cope with it? How do we weave through the complicated emotions and find peace?

My first experience with death was when my Grandfather died when I was 6. I think this is most people's first experience with death. A grandparent. I was close to him but I was young and didn't understand the permeance of the situtaion. I didn't feel the pain and shock and devastation at that age. It wasn't until I was a teen, going through old photos, when I really realized what I was missing.

In 2004 my mom gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I was 18 at the time, a college student. I was in Idaho going to school and my sister was born with down syndrome (which we knew would be the case). I was so excited to be flying home for Christmas and to be able to meet her for the first time. She was still in the hospital due to the complications that come with having down syndrome.

It was November 28th. I was staying with friends for Thanksgiving break and was jolted from sleep by someone telling me my Dad was on the phone. The first words out of his mouth were "are you awake enough to understand what I'm about to tell you". I'll never forget that. I didn't have any idea that what he would say next would completely change my life. "Reagan had some complications, she went in for surgery and she didn't make it, she passed away". My beautiful, innoncent baby sister was gone, after only 11 days of life. Before I even knew her. This event changed everything. I didn't know how to cope or how to talk about it. I had to be strong. For my parents, for my younger siblings. I didn't talk to anyone I just acted like I was ok. After her funeral I never even went to her grave. I just couldn't be there.

A year later my grandmother and best friend in the entire world died of renal cancer. I was devastated once again. I felt the pain that took my breath away but instead of dealing with it I became angry and bitter.

In 2008 I started working at a hospital as a nursing technician. I worked on an Ortho/Neuro/Spine unit. I went to work on a Sunday night. Things were busy but they were going ok. I had this patient who I had been taking care of for quite some time. She had come in for an ankle fracture and when they went to do her surgery she had coded while on the operating table. They figured she had had a stroke. She ended up being in the ICU for about a week to 2 weeks and then she was transferred back down to our floor. I had gotten to know her sister and her family that frequently came up to stay with her. Because of her stroke she wasn't doing very well...she was unresponsive and didn't move around on her own. Sunday night as I got report from the nurses I heard she had been doing a lot better. She had been responding to questions, moving around on her own, following commands. At around 5 AM I went in to take her morning vitals and everything was fine. I left her room and went into another. 9 minutes later her sister came out and said..."I don't think she's breathing". So we ran in there and she was totally unresponsive. We started chest compressions, got the crash cart, and called a code blue. I was in there helping for awhile but ended up going back out with her family. Her sister was sitting at the nurses station crying and I was doing my best to comfort her. 30 minutes later- the doctor came out and told us she was dead. I was floored. I had JUST been in there. What didn't I see? What could I have done? We are taught that when a patient dies you have to "check out" emotionally and be there for the family as a support. It is not your time to mourn. I found myself in a supply closet sobbing. After it happened I went in and cleaned her and it was a strange but spiritual experience....preparing a body for a soul who has already passed. Her sister came into the room with me and watched. I asked her how she was doing. She said "Sometimes baby, things just happen, I know my sister is much happier now than she was here." I was stunned at her peace with the situation. I sat next to her and told her I admired her strength. I told her how difficult it was for me to lose people that I loved and never had the amount of grace she had. She replied "God has the grace, we just have to be willing to trust Him."
That conversation with that woman, although brief, and that experience changed my life. I had lost loved ones. But we all will. It happens. It hurts. The pain builds inside us until we don't know what to do. But I have learned that God has grace. You can not plan every aspect of life. You just have to trust. I found a quote once by Gilda Radner that says

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity"

That is how we should live our lives. Not being angry about things we have no control over. But making the best of every moment - even the ones you had while wearing stirrup pants (oh come on...you know you did too). That's what I'm trying to do now. Make the best of every moment.
So that's my personal journey. I'm not sure what kind...spiritual maybe or just a journey. Either way it's mine and it's probably a journey you'll have too. The path might look a little different but I hope the destination is the same.

Transformation

Sometimes I'll take a nap.

You know when you take a nap during the day and you fall asleep looking like this...

and you wake up looking like this....

Usually how that works out for me.

*the person who can name who that is on the bottom gets a prize (no Googling allowed...and I know you 5 people who read my blog and I'll know if you cheated)

All My Friends Are Dead

I've always had kind of an odd sense of humor.  Sometimes it's very dry.  Sometimes it's morbid.  Mostly it's incredibly sarcastic.  I don't know if you've actually gathered that from my blog.  I thought I'd share 2 things that I love that perfectly describe me and my sense of humor.  The first one is something that I haven't thought of in awhile until I saw it on my friend Kelly's blog.  It's a book....a kind of children's book for adults called "All My Friends Are Dead".

Get it?  Because it's a dinosaur?  It's hilarious.  Here are some excerpts...

Ha ha ha.  Yeah.  It's such a great book.  I plan on my children being just as sarcastic as me.

Now for thing #2.  My favorite funny movie OF ALL TIME.  It's called "Waiting For Guffman".

 It's filmed "mockumentary" style kind of like "The Office" (which you know I also love....deeply).
It's a parody of community theater set in the small fictional town of Blaine, Missouri and follows some quirky and delusional residents as they prepare to put on a community theater production called "Red, White, and Blaine" to celebrate the town's 150th anniversary.  They even get an equally delusion "big time" producer named Corky St. Clair who is my absolute hero.  I adore him.  Here are some clips...

The trailer...




A scene from the musical....


And my favorite Corky St. Clair line....


Ok I think I've taken up enough of your time with my insane asylum-esque humor.  If you get the chance to see this movie though....do it.  It will change your life.

Elizabeth Taylor

 She contributed so much to films and fashion, and was such a devoted philanthropist.  She will be missed by many.  (February 27, 1932 - March 23, 2011)

Welcome Back

Way to make a comeback to my life Angry Birds with your new "Angry Birds: Rio" edition.  I'm already hopelessly addicted.

a special edition of "a jon hamm moment"

we interrupt your regularly scheduled blog viewing for a special "happy birthday" edition of "a jon hamm moment".....

happy birthday (two weeks ago) to the love of my life....

there are so many things about you that I love....

I love the way you seductively smirk as you shave your  face...

I love the way you casually lay on the couch in your suit...

I love how you glance behind you when you are operating a motor vehicle...

I love when you are mirthful...

I love when you're serious (and seriously hot)...

And I love when you're just being you...

Happy Birthday Jon Hamm 

xoxo

In honor of his special day Jon has requested you watch the following videos because they are funny and he's in them.
one
two

A Rainy Week Playlist....

1. Roberta Flack - Hey, That Ain't No Way to Say Goodbye
2. Bill Withers - Ain't No Sunshine
3. The Avett Brothers - If It's The Beaches
4. Jakob Dylan - Something Good This Way Comes
5. Noah and the Whale - L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N
6. The Black Keys - Tighten Up
7. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen The Rain?
8. Surfer Blood - Floating Vibes
9. Passion Pit - Moth's Wings
10. Augustana - Fire
11. Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man
12. Adele - Set Fire to the Rain
13. The Civil Wars - Poison and Wine
14. Bob Dylan - It Ain't Me Babe
15. Ray LaMontagne - Be Here Now
16. Patty Griffin - Rain
17. Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)

St. Patrick

I don't know if y'all remember how I feel about St. Patrick's Day....

I still have those same feelings.

• I don't look good in green
• People who attempt to pinch you when you aren't wearing green....are the most obnoxious people on earth.
• I don't think it's a good excuse to eat or drink things that are green (the Shamrock shake is excluded of course.....)
• Speaking of....the Shamrock Shake is in fact the greatest frozen treat ever made (I've been waiting for you for a year lover....)

• Leprechauns are still effin scary. 

This St. Patrick's Day however my Mom made some AMAZING food.  We had Irish Beef Stew (the meat is the epitome of succulent like...it melts in your mouth) and Boxty (these fantastic potato pancakes....way better than latkes).  And we spent the day watching the NCAA tournament.  All in all I'd say it was a pretty good one.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Oh and don't forget to check for that guy under your bed......(seriously...who thought they were a good idea?)

I have a new addiction...

I've been playing this on my phone non-stop all day.

I have 8 games going on with different friends right now.

Sorry Angry Birds....you can go sit over there with Diet Coke.

I went shopping (shocker)

I purchased 3 noteworthy things yesterday....

1.) Tresemme Dry Shampoo

I just wanted to give it a try because I would make out with anyone who could get my hair to NOT look like a nasty mess without washing it Day 2.  I liked this but I think I bought the wrong formula.  I bought the Dry/Curly-Normal when what I should have gotten was the Oily/Straight-Normal.  I'll buy the right kind and let you know for real how I like it.

2.) Essie Nail Polish- Fiji

It's seriously the PERFECT shade of pink nail polish.  LOVE

3.) Hi-Chews Assorted Bag

Favorite candy of ALL TIME hands down.  If you want to make me happy....send me these.  I'm so so so obsessed.

The End.

The Amazing Race

I love the Amazing Race.  It's....amazing.

If there are 2 things I want to be doing at any given moment it is a.) taking a nap in my new bed with my 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets (more on that later) or b.) seeing all the cool things I see on Amazing Race (except for the fact I HATE flying on airplanes). The gist is that teams, a pair of friends/relatives/lovers/harlem globetrotters, travel from clue to clue to end up at a destination and have to complete challenges along the way.  I love watching all the teams rush through cities and through the country in search of the little red and yellow clue box.  Sometimes this works out well, and sometimes they just look like lost idiots hopping through Australia in a a kangaroo costume.

So this always gets me thinking...if I were to go on the Amazing Race, who would be my partner?

Here are my prospects:

potential partner: best friend Jen

pros: can communicate well with each other, share a love of food, witty banter, is a mom so you know...can do things (like pose casually on a car)
cons: we would likely get eliminated for leaving the race to go to some exotic animal petting zoo or to try some amazing food.

potential partner: best friend Beth

pros: is very smart, used to live in England so she's like...totally aware of foreign countries?, very funny
cons: all the other contestants would be idiots and we would know that and probably make fun of them for it so everyone would hate us because we're smarter and prettier than them.  We would be eliminated because everyone would sabotage us.

potential partner: sister Calah

pros: likes travel, deals well with animals, has good teeth
cons: easily distracted by cats and Asian people, we would likely get eliminated for killing each other.

potential partner: father Doug

pros: SUPER smart, good traveler, prioritizes well, good problem solver, makes friends easily (he made friends with Dee Snider as evidenced in this photo)
cons: we both have really short tempers, we would get eliminated because we would be arguing with the taxi drivers on the actual shortest route...because we know more than everyone.  And we are always right.

potential partner: mother Caren

pros: interested in travel, short so she can squeeze under things if necessary
cons: we would be eliminated from the race because we missed our flight so we could read all the historical markers and we had 6 extra suitcases full of shoes that we couldn't carry to the next pit stop

Hmm...now looking at my prospects I think I'm just better off watching the race from the comfort of my own home....

The Bachelor: After The Final Rose

Here we go....I only watch After the Final Rose to see the cute happy couple be all cute and happy.

We always have to start with the loser first though.  Chantal comes out and she's still sad.  She cries (shocker).  Brad comes out and she asks Brad "when did you know it wasn't going to be me?"  Brad says "that's a tough one because I don't want to hurt you" Ah ha! That means he knew for a freaking long time.  He finally says "I knew very early on that I had feeling for Emily".  Boo ya!  She says that he's only saying that because he doesn't want to hurt Emily.  Chantal breaks down again and he says "I just fell in love with someone else".

Brad says he's very happy and then says to Chantal "I hear you're very happy too!" and she quickly dries it up and says that she is.  Ummm.....hey Chantal's new boyfriend....here's your sign.

That was gross.  She really just wanted Brad to say he loved her.  But he never did.  I was happy about that.

Then Brad talks about how him and Emily broke up but then got back together (nooooo!!!!!) and how today was supposed to be their wedding day but they canceled (nooooooo!!!!!!)
Emily finally comes out and says that yes she still considers them to be engaged.  Brad sighs a huge sigh of relief....which is never a good sign.

Emily is going through the same transition that Brenda Walsh did from Seasons 1-2.  America's Sweetheart to Cold hearted and disconnected.  I don't like it at all.

(they do not look in love and happy)

They talk about how many big fights they've been in.....this is a disaster.  This doesn't make me happy at all.

Now they've brought back the only couples to ever make it....just so Chris Harrison can feel validated in his job I"m sure.
They all sit in front of Brad and Emily like the ghosts of Bachelor past to offer the couple advice.

Clearly the producers REALLY REALLY want this to work out because they've never done this before.  Maybe they should be talking to Brad's therapist.

SHUT UP JASON NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!

And the new Bachelorette is......

Ashley H.

WHAT THE EFF NOT THE DENTIST!!!!  NOOOOOO!!!!!

Michelle would have brought crazy, Shawntal would have brought sweet and kind of cute.  Ashley brings nothing except awful bangs.

I'm so disappointed.
Brad/Emly awkwardness, Jason's douchy face, Ashley as the new bachelorette, and no sign of Seal.

I'm boycotting.

The Bachelor Finale: White Swan vs. Black Swan

I wish you guys could read the thoughts I jot down as I watch The Bachelor.  They are all jumbled and they make no sense.  For example: speak of the devil, crickets, repel down a skyscraper!
Yeah.
But lucky for you (or maybe unfortunately) I have put all my thoughts on the Bachelor finale together...so let's get started shall we?

We are still in South Africa.  Heaven only knows why.  Oh yeah...it's because Brad has always wanted to visit this city.  Yes, because Texas and South Africa are very similar (his words).  So much in common Brad...

Brad's family has shown up and there he is!  Chad (Brad's "identical" twin brother)....he's kinda dreamy. (just for your benefit...here is a picture of Brad, Dreamy Chad, and Chris Harrison being all casual and hot)

Finally Brad cries.  A lot.  Something about seeing his family has broken him.  Call in the therapist!!!
Brad says he's 100% to propose and that the girls are incredibly different.  This is true.  One has a kid, one doesn't.  One has a dead fiance, one has an alive ex-husband.  One comes with a lot of baggage, one comes with Chantal's bad posture.

Seriously...Chad is super dreamy.  Can we get a peek at shirtless Chad?  I feel bad for the other brother.  Is he adopted? It would suck to be the other brother to twins....especially when the twins are taller and hotter.
Here's a picture of him by himself.....the hot ones don't hang out with the ugly one.

The doorbell rings and Brad says..."speak of the devil" which is pretty fitting because it's Chantal at the door.

Chantal and Brad's Mom become instant besties.  And everyone keeps calling Chantal "precious" which makes me want Gollum from Lord of the Rings to come snatch her up

(I have to credit most of that joke to my Dad who came up with it...as he was watching The Bachelor...yeah I said it - the picture however is all mine)

Now it's Emily's turn.  She looked gorgeous as usual but nervous.
Emily breaks the news that she has a child and they are taken aback.  Brad's brother, the ugly one, asks if the baby daddy is going to be ok with her moving to Austin.  And Brad gets super awkward.  Like....really awkward.  But Emily is cool and she tells the whole story and emotionally destroys Brad's whole family.  There is apparently a flutist staying in the room next door because there is some super sappy flute music filling the air all of a sudden....how convenient.
Chantal's "bestie" is crying over how awesome Emily is.  Yeah Brad's Mom.  We know.

Now it's date time.  First up is Chantal.
They go on a boat, see a shark, so of course they're going swimming with them.  Yeah, I'm sure the good people of South Africa can keep this completely safe.  Third world countries are all about safety.
Also what is it with girls having to prove their love by risking their life?
"Fly in a helicopter even though it scares you!"
"Repel off a skyscraper!"
"Go to a carnival in the woods!" (seriously...that was the worst of them all)

Unfortunately the sharks do not eat Chantal and they spend their last night together before decision time.  I just pretty much tuned all this out but from what I gather....she drew him a map?  and she wrote him a note?  and she probably cried?  That's about it.

Now it's Emily's turn....sweet sweet perfect Emily.  They hike up a hill in the wind (could someone have warned Emily to NOT wear that short skirt...I mean....really.) Everything is going fine and then Emily starts telling Brad all the bad things about having a kid.  Brad says he's fine but his face says "I can't have beers anytime I want!?  This is madness!!!"
But later Brad basically tells Emily that he wants to be her kid's Dad.  He says he wants to love and protect (which sounds an awful lot like "guard and protect your heart!")  He says he knows what being a good father means and I can believe it!  He and Chad fended for themselves! (just needed to throw Chad in there again...I missed him)

Neil Lane shows up to show Brad wedding rings and Brad talks to him like he's his therapist.

Umm....I'm sorry but where is your actual therapist Brad!?  Shouldn't he be here for this!?  You couldn't go on a group date without him but you can PROPOSE???  I'm so confused.

Now it's finally rose ceremony time....
And out of the limo first is.....
THE BLACK SWAN
Or...Chantal.  I mean that dress Chantal...you don't wear that to a final rose ceremony and win.

Chantal is rejected. Chantal is of course completely destroyed.
Good by Chantal.  Enjoy your 20 hour plane ride.

Now Emily is there.  And it's lovely and beautiful and her dress is perfect!

He proposes!  

She says yes!  

And with this ring how could you not?

Chris Harrison is there!  All is right in the world!  He says "I can love you and little Ricki more than you can ever know" and I wept.

Then Train started singing and it ruined my whole life. Again.

WHERE IS SEAL?????

Now it's onto After the Final Rose.  Maybe he'll be there.....