"Are there gators in California?"

The fact that this question was actually asked by one of the girls (OUT LOUD) is just one of the many reasons why I heart The Bachelor.

Welcome to Week 5 everyone.

Oh what to start with....oh hey Vienna didn't know you were still around! Maybe I just wished you weren't.

But let's go back to the beginning.

The group made their way up to San Francisco and were informed that there would be 3 1-1 dates and one 2-1 date.

Tenley got the first one on one. I've decided that if she won I wouldn't be heartbroken. She's a really sweet girl (even her baby voice seriously infringes on my affection for her). I think her and Jake would make a cute and VERY optimistic couple.


The 2 on 1 date found Gia and Vienna fighting each other for Jake's attention and affection.


They went to a castle for the evening (even spent the night there). Here are my observations from this date.

1.) Gia PLEASE stop talking about how dorky and ugly you are. You are a SWIMSUIT MODEL! Are you kidding me? No one believes that you are sincere in saying this.


2.) Vienna oh Vienna. The way she talks about marriage is the way I talk about marriage (when I was 12 and still planning on my groom being Zack Morris). Not only that but while Gia and Jake spent some alone time together she wandered through the castle like some deranged Florence Nightingale (complete with lantern) stalking Jake to get him to spend time with her.

She then proceeded to sneak into Jake's room after bed time and climb into his bed. Don't worry honey you are being really subtle. The problem is I think Jake LIKES her. Well good luck to you Jake..have fun looking into her crossed eyes for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Then we went with Corrie and Jake on another 1-1 date. It was then that this girl uttered the sentence for which this blog is titled. She is a sweet girl too. Funny, outgoing, pretty. She did reach into her back pocket and pull out her "V-Card" though. Yes. She uttered that fateful 6 letter word that had damned every girl in the past. "VIRGIN". Jake seemed cool with it. More on that later.

Then we joined Jake and Ali on their date. Ali lives in San Fran so she was more than thrilled to take him around the city and show him around. They are just so adorable together and I really like that she is a sweet girl but she is also outspoken and doesn't care about sharing her opinions.

(thought I'd break out the old school pics..this was their first meeting)

Rose ceremony came around and Corrie got the boot. TYPICAL Jake...send the virgin home. You are such a cliche.


Also can I just say that I HATE the limo ride confessional? It's so pathetic.

Next week is home town dates and I'm hoping hoping hoping fingers crossed etc...that Vienna's ATM (aka Daddy) changes Jake's mind.
And she looks like the sausage for which she was obviously named after.


Until next week....keep that mascara waterproof girls! So you don't look like a hot mess on that farewell limo ride!

buon compleanno

or "Happy Birthday" for my non-Italian friends.

Today marks the birthday of 2 of the greatest women I've ever known. One I've known since one fateful day Junior year of high school.

And the other I've known since...birth.

The first is one of my greatest friends in the whole world Jen. As you grow up you really start to learn what defines someone as a true friend and who your true friends are. Jen is one of the very truest friends I have. She just knows me so well. I was unpacking and I found this book that Jen made me a while back for no reason at all. Just for us being friends. It's Dr. Seuss's ABC book but with a twist. Inside among the actual nonsensical rhymes Jen had imputed her own ABC's of me and of us. It is hilarious and so thoughtful. Best gift I've ever gotten hands down so of course I had to share my favorite parts...(in alphabetical order of course)

B was for Bling Bling...and she even put my favorite ring from Tiffanys on there!


H: Handbags..of course because we love them and we love to shop


N: probably made me laugh the most...this was it

(that's Ashlee Simpson and for those of you who don't know...she got a nose job)

and then of course...

V: for me

In every picture that was supposedly "me" she made me black. Which just makes me laugh because I think I am all the time. Also it says "bringing sexy back"...any Justin Timberlake reference is a good one.

The time and effort it took her to make this for me for no reason really showed me how much she cares about me. She is always the first to text me something funny and I love our text convos on Bachelor night. I just love you Jen and I know you won't get this for awhile because of your computer not working but just wanted to wish you a Happy 24th. You are the best friend a girl could ask for. And Logan is sure lucky to get such a cool mom.

Moving on to the 2nd birthday girl I'd like to publicly wish a very happy birthday to my Grandma!
Love you Grandma! You have been there through a lot and you are always there to lend an ear and give some great advice. I love you so much!!!

1 question 4 guys 100 things to do before you die

that is the tag line for tv show that really took me by surprise.

i started watching "the buried life" on MTV and let me tell you I have never known such a perfect show.

it's this group of guys who started out with the question "what do you want to do before you die?" and they made a collective list of 100 things they wanted to accomplish. MTV gave them a bus and video cameras so they could set out on their mission to complete their list.



there have been 3 episodes so far with the items on the list being:

*attend a party at the playboy mansion (in which they had to dress up like oompa loompas)



*make a toast at a stranger's wedding (which they got kicked out of a few)




*ask out the girl of your dreams (who happened to be Megan Fox)




Watching these guys trying to accomplish these seemingly impossible tasks is very entertaining (and they even pull them off!!!)

but that isn't even the best part.
for every item they complete on their list they help a stranger complete something on theirs.

the first episode they helped a teacher who wanted to provide a new computer to his underprivileged school class. The guys set up a street performance to earn enough money to buy the class a computer.


Episode 2 they reunited a street artist with his son who he hadn't spoken to in 19 years.

Episode 3 they helped an 11 year old face her fear of heights by taking her on the biggest roller coaster at Knotsberry Farm.



It leaves me in tears every time.

Good job MTV this show is funny, endearing, surprising, heartwarming.

I highly recommend it to EVERYONE

grammys...

I love the Grammys because I love music and I love dresses! This award show combines the 2 and makes me a happy girl.

So once again I'm handing out some awards of my own for all the outfits I saw...

Best use of a zipper: Beyonce


Best use of a Snooki: The Situation (I was so happy to see my Jersey Shore kids there!)


Best use of guy-liner, foundation, and a spray tan: Adam Lambert


The "guess what you still look like a man" award: Fergie


The "Are you sure it's not see through?" award: Britney Spears

Don't worry Brit we can't see anything!

Best use of arm candy: Carrie Underwood (and her hockey player fiance...)


oh yeah and your dress was pretty too...


Best sexy but not slutty, totally age appropriate, most sparkly: Taylor Swift


and on a completely unrelated note...I give best "I know you aren't a couple but you should be" to:
Taylor Swift and Cory Monteith (from Glee)...so adorable right now


Best short dress: Lea Michele (from Glee)


so cute and I forgot to mention her dress last week at the SAG awards...this girl has style..


Best non "just got beat up by Chris Brown" face: Rhianna

(last year she couldn't go because well....you remember)

the "no matter what you wear I'll still think you are a redneck mini-skank" award: Miley Cyrus


And my 2 favorites...
Pink

I thought it was original and gorgeous

and Jennifer Nettles (from Sugarland)

fit her like a glove

and last but not least
the award for best use of everything in JoAnn Fabrics goes to...
Lady GaGa

oh Lady G you are so weird but I love you

I of course wore this but ya'll already knew that!


It was a great night!
The performances were awesome...some stand out ones to me were definitely
Lady Gaga and Elton John
Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli (AH-MAY-ZING)
and P!nk (she sang while being Cirque De Solei'd....)

Did anybody else watch? What did you think?

something i love...

little girls in tutus.

seriously adorable.

i want to have like a million little girls someday.

and i secretly hope that at least one of them loves tutus and refuses to take it off. and wears it around all the time...

i was one of those girls.

and i think it's adorable.

pitter pat

I opened my eyes

And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.
I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can’t do a handstand-
I might overflow.
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said-
I’m just not the same since there’s rain in my head.
Shel Silverstein

hello childhood memory

i've missed you.

sometimes things come along unexpectedly that fling you immediately back 16 years.



today that happened to me

and it was delightful.

i will never love you more

"i will never love you more than the drummer of flaming lips
i will never love you more than woody allen movies
i will never love you more than the white album of the beatles
i will never love you more than singing in the shower
i will never love you more than peanut butter"

i will never love you more: soko

"all she's got is blondeness, not even tenderness
and she's clever-less
she'll dump you for a model called brendan
he will pay for a beautiful surgery because he is full of money.
you never called me back
you were dating that bleached blonde girl and if i find her
i swear i'll kill her
she stole my future she broke my dream
i'll kill her she stole my future when she took you away"

i'll kill her: soko

The feisty, raw, real, original and extremely talented Soko.The fact that I’m obsessed with her tiger and wish I had one definitely helped. But I am telling you, this girl is captivating. You can hear some of Soko’s music on her myspace page and also on youtube. She's wonderful.

photo of the day

love my brother. love austin collie. love the colts. perfection.

frustration is...

when someone leaves this much pink lemonade and puts it back in the refrigerator...