I've been putting this off

To sum up The Bachelor in one word....UGH!

I've been putting this off for so long because it just irritates me.  This is what I have to say in this incredibly condensed version of my Bachelor update:

Michelle: I'm really glad you're gone.  Also you getting a "mysterious" black eye in the middle of the night was absolutely ridiculous.

Ashley: You are such a crazy control freak.  Go back to being a dentist and leave me and Brad alone!  I'm glad you're gone too.  This picture pretty much sums up how I felt about you.

Shawntel: Could we maybe learn a lesson that perhaps we shouldn't take our dates to the crypt where we work and make him lay on the procedure table?  Can we also agree that the word "embalming" should NEVER be used on a date.  Ever.  So let's go over proper dates one more time ok?

Chantal: UGHHHHH you INFURIATE me!  You are so whiny, needy, cry-y (that's a word today) and ANNOYING!  And can we discuss proper posture while in a bikini please???  Because methinks I see a beer gut.  Me also thinks that all Brad sees when he looks at you is your parent's HUGE house and your ex-NFL player step-dad.  That is all I see when I look at you.....besides the mascara running down your super immature and insecure face.  Sometimes I forget you are 28.  Because you act like you are 19.  And....you remind me of one Cross-Eyed Sausage from Jake's season (I won't be naming names.....).  And we all saw how that worked out.  Here are some of my favorite pictures of you...

Emily:

You are perfect.  Which means Brad won't pick you.  I'm so sorry.  I adore you so much.  Sometimes I forget you are only 24 because you are so mature and wonderful.  You are gorgeous and sweet and the perfect wife material.  I sound like I'm about to propose.....so I'm gonna stop.  But really....you are amazing and if Brad doesn't pick you then he's super stupid and he may end up on my most hated Bachelor list along side one Jason "I like to change my mind on live TV and break girls hearts so I can be with a girl with crazy  eyes" Mesnick.  And your hometown date was the cutest thing I've ever seen.

I know it is extremely brief but catching up with all that I've missed would take FOREVER!  But don't worry...next week is the Women Tell All and I'll be sure to do an actual update before April.  Hopefully.