busy.
But look no further because as the champagne was flowing and the long weird speeches were flying....I was giving out my own awards. The fashion awards. So let's get started shall we?
The ugliest use of a rose to hide a pregnancy award:
That rose was incredibly distracting and not in a good way. Plus all the red accessories were too over the top.
The "Hey Sandra Bullock I like your dress but I hate your bangs" award:
Sandra Bullock
The hair and the dress do not work together. And you look like a depressed emo girl. Remember the good times Sandy.
The "Look at us we all wore emerald green!" award:
Catherine Zeta Jones
Elizabeth Moss
Angelina Jolie
Mila Kunis
The "Oh I didn't know that they actually invited non-actors to the Golden Globes" award:
Megan Fox
Like really....why are you there? Shouldn't you be tattooing something?
The "Hey aren't you that girl from Cheaper By the Dozen Parts 1 and 2?" award:
Piper Perabo
Even though you were trying to distract us from that fact with that decent looking dress and classy high ponytail....I will never forget.
The "too much excitement" award:
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Woah. Just...too much something....it's too Mermaid meets "bump-it" meets high school prom for me.
The "I'm going to the beach in my beach frock" award:
Heidi Klum
Really Heidi? I know you can do better than that. And where's Seal? Oh he's singing to Natalie Portman's dress? That makes sense.
The best use of the decor at Ceasar's Palace award:
January Jones
I actually kind of liked it.
The "Why do you look like Jesus" award:
Christian Bale
Seriously? Remember when you were a Newsie? I do. I liked you better then.
The Most Glamorous "Sister-Wife" award:
Leighton Meester
The "stop seducing me with your eyes Matt Bomer" award:
Matt Bomer
I love you.
The best dressed at her quinceanera award:
Jennifer Lopez
What is that sheer shawl thing you have going on there? And why is your make up all white like mine was in 1998?
The you guys look pretty but it's nothing special award:
Carrie Underwood
Dianna Agron
The I couldn't find a dress to fit my cup-size award:
Christina Aguilera
Like....really? Ok. But....really?
The remember how you aren't Catwoman anymore award:
Halle Berry
Give it up! You are NOT Catwoman anymore!!!!
The Bride of Frankenstein award:
Scarlett Johanssen
Yeah you see it now too don't you?
The it doesn't matter what you wear I'll always love you award:
Helena Bonham Carter
You are insane but I love you. And the 2 different colored shoes....it's just brilliant in a totally crazy way.
The best update of Molly Ringwald's dress in Pretty in Pink award:
Lea Michele
The pretty pretty princess award:
Olivia Wilde
The dress is fabulous but couldn't we have pulled back the hair? You look like you're playing dress up.
And now we interrupt your regularly scheduled blog viewing for another Jon Hamm at an awards show moment....
Ahh...that's better.
Let's move on. I'm starting to feel a bit warm. But first....watch this video. Greatest thing Jon Hamm has ever done (besides love me). I could watch it a thousand times and I have.
The What the Eff award:
Julianne Moore
The sleeve thing, the necklace, the tassel clutch....just...what the eff?
The "He loves me, he loves me not" award:
Michelle Williams
Note to Michelle: Valentino hates your guts.
And for my favorites.....
Emma Stone
Classy and simple (unfortunate that her fake tan matches the dress....was she hanging out with Snooki?)
I don't even recall your name but I really like your dress obscure girl
Amy Adams
Just beautiful
Anne Hathaway
Fabulous. She looked like a movie STAR. Probably my favorite.
Eva Longoria
I die for that beautiful silhouette. It's perfection.
I of course wore this
Anyone else watch? What did you think?
I have totally missed your blogs! They always make me laugh!
ReplyDeletehahahaha I agree with all of your reviews. I didn't even watch it. I don't have to, I just read your blog!
ReplyDeleteooooh vanessa, your post just made my day
ReplyDelete