Freckle DNA

It's like sometimes people create shows just for me. Like a gift. I saw a preview for this show and I felt like a kid who just got his long awaited Red Ryder BB gun. I give you...

My Monkey Baby

Don't mind if I do!

These people are my favorite. Family photo? You got it!

Is it just me or did that monkey take a note from Tyra Banks when she taught the world to smile with their eyes?

I see "America's Next Top Model: Monkey edition" in the future.

And while we're on the subject of completely absurd plot lines....Grey's Anatomy? I'm slightly disappointed in you. So supposedly George got hit by a bus and died although his face was so mangled that they couldn't recognize him. The way they identified him was by a freckle on his right hand shaped like Texas. SERIOUSLY? What kind of an irresponsible hospital is this? His mom comes to the hospital to decide whether or not to donate his organs. Hey Seattle Grace...maybe while she's there you could swab some DNA before you decide to DONATE SOMEONE'S ORGANS!
Ridiculous. We'll see how the rest of the season goes. And just for future reference I have a birthmark shaped like an amoeba on the back of my neck.

You Know You're Poor When....

You can't squeeze anymore out of your face wash bottle and instead of throwing it away you cut off the top and scrape it out with a spatula until nothing comes out anymore.

I swear I'm not as white trash as I seem
and please don't show this picture to Brad Pitt or he'll never marry me.

As a side note: while cleaning my room last week I discovered I am apparently growing deathcaps. I thought they were growing from underneath the floorboards at first until I found one yesterday straight up just sprouting out of the middle of the carpet. Any fungi experts out there because this is clearly a moldy fungus...or green death. My epitaph will read

She died at the hands of a moldy fungs
She no longer walks among us

and trust me when I say I was more planning on my epitaph saying

Here lies the beloved wife of Justin Timberlake

I Don't Watch TV

So here's the deal. I look through my blogs and realize..."wow I watch TV a LOT!" and it makes me think maybe I shouldn't be broadcasting how much time I spend watching television. I should at least try to hide it and be like everyone else saying that, "I don't watch tv. It's a waste of time." But we all know that would be a lie. And all you people acting like you are so important and have "so much to do" that you "don't have time" to watch tv...you are lying too- but I see right through it.

That being said...I'll update you on all the tv you "missed" while you were "busy".

Project Runway

It has been an interesting few weeks on project runway and most of the people that were completely ridiculous are finally gone. Like JOHNNY who told a ridiculous lie and got himself kicked off. Earth to Johnny if you spent less time complaining and being a "recovering addict" and more time designing...maybe you wouldn't have to cry so much. I have to give a quick shout out to Irina who designed THIS

out of newspaper...genius.

Anyway...this past week they had to make a design for a genre of film that they picked at random. You had to create a character and then design a dress for them. My 2 favorites were these...

Christopher: He got "Period Piece" genre and designed this dress for a woman of the 1800's who also happens to be a vampire. I really liked this dress because it was a modern take on a 1800's dress. I think it's beautiful from the front and from the back.

Epperson: He had to design a dress for "Western" genre. I loved his dress because it was also more modern. He could have taken western and turned it into a hokey gingham mess...but he didn't. I really really loved it.

The one who got eliminated was Ra'Mon and I was sad about that because I think he had a lot to offer. His genre was "Sci Fi" and he created this....

Which first of all wasn't too horrible...it wasn't really creative and he could have been riskier but he started this dress 2 hours before he had to be done with it. Oh well...I will miss you and your whisper voice Ra'Mon.

Dancing With the Stars

Pretty good first week don't you think? My favorites so far are:

Donny Osmond

Louie Vito- he is so adorable I just want to pinch his cheeks

Kelly Osbourne: I wanted to cry at the end of her dance because you could see how badly she wanted to do well.

And in top reasons why I'm ashamed to be a Republican...we have this

Tom DeLay: not only is your dancing a hot mess but it's also borderline creepy

And in other hot mess news...has anyone seen Paula Abdul lately?

Oh Paula I will miss you on American Idol

And now for a segment I like to call

This week on Glee

This week on Glee the football team decided that they were tired of losing every single game. The quarterback of the football team has joined Glee Club and gets a lot of flack for it. Kirk who is a part of Glee Club and is VERY "fashionably conscious" if you know what I mean- decided to try out for kicker of the football team so that his dad will respect him. He makes the team because he loosens up by dancing and does really well. So the QB decides that the football team should start dancing to loosen themselves up...this is what evolved.

Pure genius. Everyone should watch this show.

The love of my life Grey's Anatomy came back this week and I recorded it but haven't gotten around to watching it yet I've just been so busy. I mean...TV really is kind of a waste of time anyway isn't it?

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Just a story of appreciation for my mom...growing up I thought our house was an endless supply of SoftSoap. Every time one container was empty...another brand new full one would appear in it's place later in the day. Was this an act of wiley magic? Well whatever it was it was genius. Fast forward to me...a small town girl of 17 living on my own for the first time. I being a creature of habit buy the same SoftSoap that Mom bought. The container runs out. No prob...the SoftSoap fairy will be here soon...
That night...still no soap. That is the moment you realize your mom did a lot of little things that you never really thought of before.

Thanks Mom for the soap and for all those other things you did around the house that made it better...sorry if we don't notice it right away...but I guarantee we'll notice it when we have to do it ourselves.
Hope you have a great day! Love you!

I've been waiting all day for Sunday night....

Ahh the smell of pig skin in the air...and by this of course I mean football. I get so giddy and excited about football season. This year I was able to join the family fantasy football league- and here are week 1 standings...

Mom: 106 pts

Dad: 81 pts

Uncle Lee: 106 pts

Uncle Frank: 131 pts

Cousin Kameron: 68 pts

Cousin Noah: 88 pts

Cousin Stephen: 65 pts

Cousin Maddie: 89 pts

Eric Orcutt: 65 pts

Me: 158 pts

That's right I totally dominated. My team name is the Utah Golden Girls and I think that's probably why I'm winning...

I went up to Magna Utah for the weekend to watch the season openers with my cousin Kelcey and her family. They have the giant TV with the NFL Season Pass sports package in HD...pretty much my idea of heaven on Earth. I'm really looking forward to a great season. The Colts of course...my very favorite team. I think the New Orleans Saints will do really well this season as well...plus Drew Brees is the QB for my team so I'm really pulling for them...plus he's pretty adorable.

And speaking of adorable...the love of my life Matt Cassel is back!

Well kind of...he did sprain his MCL recently and was out of the first game but he is expected to make a full recovery and be back shortly...and thankfully not on the Patriots. Which brings me to Monday night football. The Patriots played the Bills and you would think that Ghandi himself had arrived at the game the way everyone was talking about Tom Brady. Him and his stupid face with his stupid black paint under the eyes...hey earth to Tom...that stuff is to protect your vision from the sunlight and you are playing AT NIGHT you tool!

Sorry...I have a mild case of Tom Brady tourrettes

Faith Hill sings all the openings for Sunday Night football and I seriously get chills everytime I hear the first chords...am I a loser? Don't answer that...this was my favorite one from last season...

MTV VMA's

So I'm sure you've all heard about the MTV Video Music Awards...they were CRAZY! First of all of course for the big controversy...Taylor Swift vs Kanye West. So the story- Taylor Swift won Best Female Video and as she goes up to accept her award (her very first and the ONLY country artist to ever be nominated for this award...) Kanye jumps up and goes on about how she basically didn't deserve it. The only clip I could find of it was one they showed on the Conan O'Brian show so they tweaked it a little but you'll get the idea...

Now why he felt possessed do this no one really knows...I personally think it's because he was jealous of her mad rap skills

In other VMA news...it's the first one since Michael Jackson's death so of course there was a lot of talk about him considering how much he contributed to the music video world. They did a really cool tribute to him that Janet Jackson joined in on for the last number...I know the quality isn't that good but you'll get the idea.

In of course Lady GaGa news...because what would our life be without her? This chick is absolutely crazy and strangely she NEVER wears pants...I mean really never. Her outfits for the VMA's were no different...

and my personal favorite....

you are so weird Lady G but I can't help but listen to your music.

Seriously though...it's night and people like this that make me glad that I'm not famous...mostly.

And finally...is it just me or is Eminem starting to look strangely like Sinead O'Connor?

the end of summer means one thing...

the start of tv premieres.

Being currently unemployed this makes me very happy...but first to catch up on summer tv...I know I've been slacking. I want to give a big congratulations to Ed for being the final Bachelorette that ended up with the girl. First because I think he and they are adorable and second because it means I won the Bachelorette pool...which makes me very happy because I have bragging rights. In what situation I'm going to be in where "oh yeah well I picked out who would win the Bachelorette" is going to be impressive- I don't know but it's nice to have as an option.

As an added bonus it means that Jillian didn't pick Reid...what an arrogant tool.

As for new tv for fall I'm already getting into these shows...

Project Runway

For episode 1 they had to design a red carpet look- these were my top 3 favorites

other thoughts?

Irina: finale

Johnny: do all recovering addicts cry as much as you? and how many times can you mention the fact that you are a recovering addict?

Althea: love you- my favorite

Carol Hannah: finale

And of course the BEST show Glee...seriously if you haven't watched it yet do yourself a favor and tune in Wednesday nights and ENJOY so funny and witty PLUS awesome singing and dancing...what more could you want?

Another one I am currently loving is Giuliana and Bill on the Style Network.

It's about Giuliana and Bill Rancic...she was an E! News correspondent and he won the very first season of The Apprentice and they met when she interviewed him for the show- the fell in love and the rest as they say is history. I really like them because although we obviously know they are on TV and have money they are so funny and down to earth. Here is a clip from the show...

The show is so cute and hilarious...check it out sometime. I think that's about it...but stay tuned for new shows like Dancing With the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, Grey's Anatomy etc...I'll be watching them all.

One Time

If anyone is looking for some new music to listen to I have a couple of suggestions...

My first new favorite artist is a boy by the name of Justin Bieber

He is a 15 year old boy from Canada and he is so adorable. His song "One Time" is pretty much continually on repeat on my iPod and Calah and I told Mackenzie she should marry him. Usher is even in his video so he's double cool.

I'm also LOVING a band called Cobra Starship.

My favorite girl from Gossip Girl (Leighton Meester aka Blair Waldorf) sang with them on their first single from their new album which started me listening to the song and now I listen to their music non stop. If you do listen to some of it I warn you to listen to edited versions- they tend to use some strong language. But their music always puts me in a good mood.

Also I'm not gonna lie...Miley Cyrus's song "Party in the USA" is a party in my ears!

That's it for now...I'll keep ya posted on some good tunes as I hear them.