Someone Better Do Something About That Monkey

The other night at work was an interesting one filled with one exciting event or another. My first exciting event happened when one of my patients started getting a bit...shall we say...forgetful? at around 11:30 pm. She was in there talking to "people" that weren't there. So I went in to check on her when she started yelling...here is how the conversation progressed...
*"Hey (fill in blank name here) is everything ok?"
~"Someone better do something about that monkey"
* "What monkey?"
~"That monkey over there by the window"
...clearly we all know there is no said monkey by the window...
*"I don't see a monkey over by your window"
~"Well he's there and somebody better do something about it"
at this point I figure I will completely play into her monkey fantasies...it's really easier than trying to convince her otherwise...
*"Oh that monkey! Yeah he's nice though he won't hurt you...you're in the hospital and you are safe I'll be back to check on you in a little while...try and get some sleep"
30 minutes pass...I am casually walking past the room and now the patient is talking very angrily and waving her arms
*"What's going on?"
~"There's this darn monkey in my bed and he's growling at me"
*"Oh really?"
~"Yes you shut up and get this monkey out of my bed!"
she's getting feisty now
*"Honey...I don't know how to get that monkey out of your bed..."
~"Well you better find someone who does!"
*"Ok I'll see what I can do..."
3 minutes pass and I re enter the room as the greatest invisible monkey catcher of all time...
*"Hi there (fill in the blank name) I heard you have a monkey problem? I'm here to take care of that for you..."
pretend to catch invisible monkey
*"Ok we've got him...I'm going to put him in this cage and we'll take care of him"
~"Well who does that monkey belong to?"
*"I'm not sure ma'am but we'll find out"
~"Yeah you better find out who is letting their monkey run around loose..where are you taking him?"
*"Well we'll probably take him to the zoo and then find out he belongs to ok?"
~"Yeah all right."

No more complaints of monkeys for the rest of the night. Who knew that catching invisible monkeys was in my job description...let alone something I would be so incredibly good at???
During that shift I also had a true blue celebrity as a patient and had another patient try to escape the floor in her birthday suit.
And no I don't work on the psych unit.